Today I want to talk about something that appears to be a huge road block in our ability to enable change within society. This is the fact that people HATE being called out when they make a mistake, they really really hate it! Pride is at the core of this issue. Some people would rather defend a mistake than see the problem or error in their actions. People don’t want to believe they have done wrong or made a mistake. Realistically within our lives we will not live perfectly and we will make mistakes. Not only is it normal, it is also important for our growth and learning
When people act this way it restricts their growth and furthers their ignorance. This is counter-productive and leads to unhealthy communication. It inhibits our ability to fight against societal stigmas, stereotypes and microaggressions because when people are called out for their mistakes they immediately attempt to defend themselves in order to save their pride. In order to combat this we need to normalise learning from mistakes and choosing to instead be better.
A mistake is not always intentional and it can show a gap in your understanding on a certain topic or some sort of ignorance you may have internalised. You might not have intended to offend or make an error, but you did and it had a certain impact. Imagine you step on someones foot by accident, you didn’t intend to step on that persons foot, but you did and it created a negative impact on that person. Any decent person would apologise for that harm they accidentally caused and try to not do it again. This same idea corresponds to verbal mistakes. You may not have intended to offend a person, but you did. Instead of trying to defend yourself and explain that it wasn’t your intention, you should instead take a step back from yourself and realise that you hurt that person, even if it wasn’t your intention to do so. Take that opportunity to learn from the mistake instead of remaining close-minded and focused on yourself. When you offend someone, it is really not about you, so put your pride to the side and see the mistake you made for what it really is and learn from it.
Additionally to this, if the person tries to explain to you why what you said may have offended them, listen. That person is helping you to grow by correcting your mistake. Don’t dismiss what that person has said, internalise it, see the error of your ways and acknowledge that yes, you did mess up, but now you can be better. By remaining defensive and refusing to believe that you have made a mistake, you stunt your own growth in learning and just generally being a better person. Acknowledging your mistakes is a form of self-awareness, if your mistakes are negatively impacting someone it is your social responsibility to be better.
As human beings we are not perfect, and we cannot be perfect, we can only be our best. This is why I love learning because it gives me an opportunity to do better. When you learn something new you are bound to make mistakes along the way, it’s only natural and it’s how we learn and grow. If you look back at your life and think you haven’t made a single mistake, then you probably haven’t learnt that much. It is okay to make a mistake, as long as you make use of that opportunity to learn from the situation. We need to normalise this idea because it promotes growth and just generally being a considerate and decent person.
If you choose to not learn from the mistake then you will continue to make that mistake. You are harming yourself by not allowing yourself to grow, and you are harming others but not putting your pride to the side and simply admitting that you were wrong. Defending a mistake is never the right solution to a problem, it only furthers your ignorance and inability to learn. If you think you are always right, then you are just remaining close-minded. To take the famous quote from Socrates: “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” It is ignorant to believe that you have all the answers, because you don’t. There is always more to learn and we learn by making mistakes. Now that doesn’t mean you should go around intending to make mistakes, it means that when someone tries to correct you or call you out, listen to them, hear their perspective and learn.
If you find yourself in these situations, acknowledge the mistake and choose to better instead of defending that mistake all in the name of your pride. Making mistakes really is normal, everyone does it, I do it all the time. Admitting you were wrong doesn’t mean that you are now unintelligent. It means you are clearing the clouds of ignorance that are fogging up your perspective of the world. That is a good thing and it means you are learning and growing. So please, normalise admitting you were wrong and learning from your mistakes. The world will not end, it will enable us all to communicate together and make the world an amicable and productive place to enact change.