Issues you should be talking about

First of all, I would like to apologise for not posting in a month! I went away for a couple of weeks and then struggled to get back into the rhythm of writing, but I am back now and ready to continue posting and putting out as much content as I can! If you are returning to my website, thank you so much for coming back and I can’t wait to keep sharing information and thoughts with you all again!

For today’s post I wanted to bring attention to some world events that I think are hugely important and that more people should be aware of. To disclaim there are a huge amount of social, environmental, political and economic issues in the world, sadly too many to count. To list them all in this article would be overwhelming. I’m going to shed some light on 3 today that I have recently heard about and feel others should look into more themselves. I encourage you to look into other ongoing global issues that threaten people’s human rights and identities other than these 3 as well. People’s voices need to be heard and we need to support them.

UK Transgender Rights at risk

The first issue I want to bring to light is the UK government’s plans to stop transgender people from being allowed to legally self-identify. This is an extremely recent issue and something I just learnt about yesterday. This is a huge attack on trans rights and a step in the opposite direction.

Plans were being made to reform the Gender Recognition Act from 2004 to make it easier for trans people to legally change their gender in the UK. These plans would introduce self-identification which would make the legal process of changing your gender much shorter. During a consultation to reform the current gender recognition act they suggested removing a Gender Recognition Panel which consists of two medical professionals certifying a transition. This process can feel overly medical and demeaning. Instead the trans person would have the ability to legally change their gender by making a sworn statutory declaration, removing the long-winded medical process. 70% of people supported this reform. However, it seems the government are going to scrap the plans for the reform this week.

This is a huge setback in the progress of trans rights within the UK and hugely disappointing. Unfortunately, our current conservative government administration simply do not deem trans rights as important as other governmental issues, this comes at a surprise to no one. It is hugely demeaning to trans people that they would have to prove to a medical professional that they are worthy of a transition or change in self-identification. We should be moving forwards, not backwards. This is simply not right. The government has been dragging their feet on this issue for far too long. If you wish to support the transgender and non-binary community and stop this reversal of the governments promise to reform the Gender Recognition Act, please do sign this petition: https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/327108

For more information and how to help: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/gender-recognition-act-gra-take-action-trans-equality

The US Supreme Court and the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg

After the passing of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a truly remarkable women who fought for gender equality and women’s rights, a seat has opened within the supreme court. Ruth’s dying wish was for her seat to not be filled until after the next president is elected. However, Mitch McConnell, the Senate Majority Leader, announced that they would be filling the seat before the end of President Trump’s term. The hypocrisy of McConnell’s statement is huge because in Obama’s administration, after the passing of Justice Antonin Scalia, he stated that they should not fill the vacancy until they had a new president, even though Obama still had 11 months in office left. Currently Trump has just over a month left, yet McConnell believes they should replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg before the next election. This is hugely controversial of McConnell, double standards should be applied and replacing Supreme Ginsburg is not a process that should be rushed.

Replacements in the supreme court can take a long time. However, Trump announced that he would be nominating a replacement by the end of this week. He appears in a rush for the supreme court to ratify it before the election date. Democrats have argued that Trump is pursuing without delay in order to invalidate the affordable healthcare act before the end of his term. Another huge issue within the US right now that would put countless more lives at risk during a global pandemic.

Supreme Court seats are hugely influential positions. Ruth Bader Ginsburg accomplished some remarkable reforms including the right for women to sign a mortgage without a man, the right for a woman to have a bank account without a male co-signer, the right to a job without being discriminated based on gender and the right for women to work whilst being pregnant and having children. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has paved the way in women’s rights and gender equality and became a true feminist and equality icon. The work she achieved will live on throughout generations.

Photo captured by Getty Images outside McConnell’s home protesting against the rapid replacement of RBG.

Having a supreme court replacement that wishes to see change as much as Ruth did is hugely important. Discrimination and oppression is rampant within the US (as well as globally). The ongoing black lives matter movement has shown that systemic change needs to be made and replacing RBG with someone who will strive for that change is pivotal for the future of the US. Rushing to fill the seat before the election is not right.

Uighur Muslim Re-education Camps in Xinyang, China

An estimated 1 million Uighur Muslims are detained in so called ‘re-education camps’, where they are being brainwashed and stripped of their religious and ethnic identity and replaced with loyalty to the Chinese Communist Party. Hundreds of these camps have been built in the past 3 years throughout Western China within the Xinyang province. They are completely stripping Uighur Muslims of their religion, culture and language. This is a form of torture and brainwashing yet China is portraying it as rehabilitation and education when this is not the case.

Some accounts of the horrific forms of ‘re-education’ Uighur Muslims must undergo are listed below:

  • Forced to drink alcohol and eat pork, acting against their religion.
  • Uyghur women are forced to marry a Chinese man and sleep with him in their bed.
  • China is forcing birth control onto Muslim women to prevent the Muslim population from growing, in even more extreme cases abortions and sterilisations are taking place.
  • Hijabs are being removed, and those in camps are forced to wear sacks and some are shackled.
  • People are living in unsanitary and crowded conditions, their human rights have been completely stripped away. On top of this the coronavirus pandemic has catalysed the unsanitary conditions with many prisoners falling ill.
  • They are shocked and disciplined to support the Chinese Communist Party as if they cannot survive without it, it is the only way. They are told their religion is not right.

BBC Panorama discovered orders sent to the re-education camps: ‘no one escapes, increase discipline and punishment, encourage students to truly transform, promote confession and repentance, make remedial mandarin studies most important.’

This is a hugely horrific and inhumane event, it is a genocide and it had to be stopped. This is a heart-breaking issue that more people need to be talking about and raising awareness on. World leaders are not stepping up in the ways that they should be and action needs to be taken. Trump actually supported the decision to lock up Uighur Muslims and the UK Chinese ambassador claimed it was fake news.

Below are some links to petitions and also the Uyghur Human Rights Project that shares information on this topic in more detail than I have today, as well as Amnesty.

Final Thoughts

For a lot of these issues, if not all of these issues, a person of privilege is not directly affected. In some cases people believe that because they are not directly affected they do not have to care or support change. Just because something doesn’t directly affect you, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care or educate yourself on the topic. It certainly doesn’t mean you should sit in ignorance and silence just because you can.

Millions of people in this world are hurting and have been marginalised because of their identity, whether that be religion, race or sexuality. It is a privilege to not be oppressed and marginalised and we should use that privilege to learn about what’s going on in the world and do what we can to speak out against oppression and injustice. It’s your social responsibility as a decent human being. I myself am a white cis woman, this gives me a level of privilege and ability to speak out against the injustices in society instead of just standing by. It is the right and decent thing to do, we are talking bare minimum, do not praise yourself for it, just be a good human.

I hope you learnt something new about a current global issue and that you will continue to research other global issues that I haven’t mentioned today. I also hope I did these topics justice today by talking about them as best as I could. I may make this a regular post to bring attention to important world issues because I think it’s hugely essential that we stay up to date and do our best to support those who are hurting in any way we can and spread their voices.

Confessions of a perfectionist

Today I’m going to talk about something that I continually struggle with, and that is being a perfectionist. I feel like when people talk about perfectionism it’s that weakness that is actually a strength, but in reality if you really are a perfectionist then you know it is not a trait you actually want. Perfectionism does more harm than good when it cannot be controlled. I wanted to talk about my own personal experiences with perfectionism today, as well as shedding more light on the area and the effects it can have.

Perfectionism is defined as “the need to be or appear to be perfect, or even to believe that it’s possible to achieve perfection.” It is an unhealthy obsession to constantly be better than the best version of yourself. It is impossibly unattainable. A perfectionist is extremely critical of oneself, they strive only for a perfect and flawless outcome. When this outcome isn’t met it leads to feelings of failure and self-doubt which often spiral into mental health issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, OCD, phobias, eating disorders, substance abuse and depression.

Perfectionism pushes you to be more than you can actually be, and this isn’t some pinterest quote about being your best self and just putting in that extra work, this is a real condition about never being good enough for yourself. No matter how smart, generous or stunning you may already be. No matter what you do or achieve it is simply never enough.

Being a human means that we often make mistakes in our life, therefore being flawlessly perfect is an unachievable and unhealthy expectation. A healthy approach to self-development is understanding there will be mistakes along the way because this is how we learn. However, when you are a perfectionist you won’t even attempt an activity in some cases unless you can be sure it will go flawlessly. This apprehension is grounded in a fear of failure which can lead to procrastination, anxiety, and poor time-management.

I myself, particularly in my studies, have been a perfectionist and it took me a long time to realise not everything you are going to produce is going to be perfect. This didn’t sit right with me for a while. I am guilty of spending many hours working on something for too long all in the effort to make it ‘perfect’. This behaviour meant I wasn’t balancing my time well and was sabotaging myself in other areas of my life that I should have been paying more attention too. My own perfection being more academically focused meant that whatever grade I would get, it would always need to be higher next time. The expectation just keeps…getting…HIGHER. This is obviously not a healthy way to approach a situation because when you achieve something you should congratulate yourself, not carry on increasing your goal because one day you won’t reach the expectation you set for yourself, and it will break you (trust me I know). This is when people tend to spiral into mental health issues because they realise that their expectations are unattainable and this begins to hold them back and create fear. I ended up developing an unhealthy thinking pattern that determined my own worth on my academic success and ability which was ultimately very wrong. Your happiness and worth should never be determined by the extent of your achievement and success.

Burnout happens when you avoid being human for too long.

Personally, I believed that in order for me to achieve I had to be on my grind 24/7 because from my observations that is how people that succeeded behaved. Nobody is actually like that because that leads to burnout and it is not a productive way to work. No one can sustain that amount of hard work for long periods, it’s about balance. Productivity and success is not about working flat out 100% of the time, it’s about taking breaks, recharging and coming back stronger. However, at the time I felt that if I wasn’t working, if I was taking a break, then I didn’t deserve that high grade. That is obviously untrue but that is how perfectionism works. If you are anything less than your absolute best then you are not good enough or worth enough. I had to learn what hard work and productivity really looked like. You will not always be 100% everyday, you have to learn when you need to call it quits and take a break. I would love to know how many hours I have wasted just staring at a uni essay on my laptop, doing absolutely nothing, but telling myself that I can’t stop because I don’t ‘deserve’ a break, even though I’d probably already been sat there for 9 hours.

I believe that a lot of people are becoming perfectionists because of societal influences, social media in particular. When you look online it doesn’t take long for you to find someone who appears like they have their whole life together, no issues, no struggles, just good vibes. Social media has created this toxic need to be perfect, successful and rich before you’re even 21. Social media is a facade, it’s people wanting to show the best highlights of their life, in some cases it is even fake. I’ve spoken to countless people who are insecure about their relationships, academic ability, style, appearance or financial stability, all because there are hundreds of people online presenting themselves as if they are perfect and that everything is going their way. After a while this can make a person deeply insecure because when they look at their own life they see normality, instead of perfection. We compare our whole life consisting of highs and lows to someones highlights. First of all that is unrealistic and second of all comparison is a killer and it’s only going to make you more insecure. Nobody has it all together all the time but society can make us think that we need to be that way, and when we aren’t we feel like we have failed. This is simply not true.

Taking a step back from social media and generally using it less will only lead to positive benefits in your life and how you view yourself. Gaining a better perspective and knowing that not everyone’s life is that perfect is hugely important for anyone’s mental health. It is important to focus on what you are doing and achieving than comparing yourself to everyone’s perfect presentations of themselves online. You shouldn’t base your own worth on what somebody else is doing. Unplug and take a detox from social media.

Making mistakes and being flawed is how humans work. I was at war with myself for a long time for not being good enough, when actually I was achieving really good grades but my constant desire to be better held me back. At the end of the day you can achieve great things and still be left feeling like you need more and more, but more will not be enough if you can’t be content within yourself and appreciate the journey you are on, flaws and all. We cannot be perfect and that is okay. What we can be is happy with who we are and what we have, whilst being committed to growth and progress in a healthy way, knowing that there will be mistakes along the way and that makes us a human being, not a failure.

Regarding overcoming my own personal perfectionism, I am definitely still on that journey. However, I have learnt that keeping up the habit of trying to knock away those negative thoughts and doubts in your head is the most crucial step to take. It is way easier said than done and is a constant journey, but noticing that thought pattern you have and consciously deciding to turn away from it instead of feeding into it is hugely important. In order to do that you have to accept yourself, congratulate yourself for the small achievements, (they are still amazing achievements!) and most importantly look after yourself. Take breaks, do things that make you feel good, see your friends, these are all important factors in achieving success.

It is very easy to feel an unbearable pressure and expectation being a perfectionist. You can easily over work yourself and take on too much and ultimately this will lead to burnout. This makes it even harder to fight the negative thoughts in your head because you are mentally exhausted. Taking time for yourself is hugely important, this is something I would love to go into more detail on in another article focused on self care and bad mental health days. For now though, be kind to yourself and accept your journey for what it is. You’re doing way better than you think and you are good enough.

I hope you enjoyed today’s post! Please do continue to email your responses to me on the contact me page if you don’t feel comfortable commenting below, that is completely fine! I have some links below to useful resources surrounding today’s topic, but I also wanted to mention a book I have briefly started, ‘Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection’ by the Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim. I touched on various kinds of Buddhism and mindfulness during my time at university and found it incredibly fascinating. There is a lot we can learn when we step outside of our western mindsets. I haven’t read the whole book yet but it’s a unique approach to overcoming perfectionism and I thought it was worth a quick mention! I’ll be sure to review the book later when I have finished so look out for that!

Mental health support

If you feel your perfectionism is negatively impacting your mental health and sense of self then do reach out to an organisation that can help support you. Your feelings are completely normal and valid, you do not have to feel alone.

  1. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
  2. https://www.samaritans.org/
  3. https://www.mind.org.uk/
  4. https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/how-to-access-mental-health-services/

TED Talks on perfectionism

Here are some of my favourite TED Talks on perfectionism, all very varied, but insightful talks about peoples own personal struggles with perfectionism and how they started to fight and overcome their unattainable expectations.


Social psychologist Thomas Curran explores how the pressure to be perfect — in our social media feeds, in school, at work — is driving a rise in mental illness, especially among young people. Learn more about the causes of this phenomenon and how we can create a culture that celebrates the joys of imperfection.

Iskra Lawrence asserts that we all need to be taught how to look after ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally and encourages us to invest in ourselves right now. She gives examples of self-care techniques like the mirror challenge and the gratitude list that work for anyone, any age, anytime. If we learn self-care and practice self-care, then we can gift self-care to others.

The idea of embracing a perfectionist identity takes away our power to control the outcomes of our lives. We can take control of our personal power by understanding the detrimental belief of perfectionism and embracing the idea that we are naturally imperfectionist. The more we understand how perfection is unattainable, the less control it has over us.

Until recently, Da Yeon believed that being perfect in every aspect of her life, from family and friendship to academics, was not only possible but would also bring nothing but benefits to her and those around her. In this personal talk, Da Yeon shares a journey of self-realisation, discovering the roots of her perfectionism, its consequences, and a path toward a healthier future.

Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

A disclaimer before I begin. I will be discussing mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety, as well as suicide. If this is something you are sensitive to or triggered by, then this is a warning. There will be links at the bottom of this page to resources that can help support you. You are not alone.

As I mentioned in my last post, there are hundreds of writers paving the way in various fields and raising awareness about important topics.

One of which is Matt Haig, a best selling writer based in England. Matt writes in various styles as a journalist, children’s and non-fiction writer. Matt is active on his social media accounts working towards breaking the stigma around mental health.

Some of my favourite books by Matt are ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ and ‘Thoughts on a Nervous Planet’. Both of these books are non-fiction and tackle the issues and stigma around mental health, as well as Matt recalling his own personal battles with depression and anxiety. Today I’m going to talk about ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’. This is one of my favourite books and I urge anyone and everyone to read it, whether you are going through your own personal journey with mental health or are seeking ways to support a loved one, even for just general awareness! Mental health is becoming a pandemic in itself, breaking the stigma and shutting down stereotypes is extremely essential in tackling this issue. It is an enlightening and informative read.

Matt’s writing style is so engaging and his ability to explain such complex mental health struggles in such simplistic ways is truly inspiring. He uses various metaphors and explanations that allow people to really understand the way depression and anxiety can affect a persons life. Matt also includes scripted conversations with himself, portraying the inward struggle and turmoil he felt when his illness spoke to him.

Mental health is such a vast and complex topic, being able to explain its influence is something many struggle to put into words, but Matt Haig does this in a wonderful and effortless way. It allows people to really understand how mental illness can consume a person and the mental and physical symptoms that come with it.

But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.

Albert Camus, A Happy Death

Matt discusses the invisibility and ability depression has to creep up on a person and consume them. Whoever that person may be; a billionaire, an alcoholic, a mother, a teenager, or a businesswoman. Depression can affect anyone and whilst some mental illness are related to past trauma, some may feel they do not have a reason to feel the way they do. This only leaves those people feeling guilty and confused for the way they are feeling. When those around them try to belittle their emotions or behaviour this guilt can intensify. Ending this stigma is SO important, Matt seeks to do this in a number of effective and informative ways within his book.

Another key statement Matt raises in his book is that mental illnesses impact and appear differently on everyone. This means that there is no set way to overcome it, get around it or deal with it. Understanding this is so important! Mental health is a journey of good and bad days. There is no one size fits all solution. There is trial and error, Matt retells how he began to cope with his mental illness within ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’.

The key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don’t become them. Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person. You can walk through a storm and feel the wind but you know you are not the wind.

Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

In an effort to break the stigma around depression and mental health, Matt compares physical and mental health issues. He uses a variety of scenarios to explain this idea but as an example, you wouldn’t say to someone who had just broken their arm, ‘Oh, just get on with it, stop thinking about it!’ So why would you say to someone with depression, ‘Mind over matter, just get over it!’. Mental health issues are just as much issues as physical health issues. There is an obsession to separate the body and mind, when we should take time to care and nurture both. As much as we can have issues with our physical health, we can also have issues with out mental health. Matt pushes this idea throughout his book.

Matt fluctuates between retelling his own personal battles and experiences with depression and anxiety to more statistically informative facts surrounding mental illness. According to the World Health Organisation, “1 in 5 people will experience depression in their life”, and “A million people a year kill themselves. Between ten and twenty million people a year try to. Worldwide, men are over 3x more likely to kill themselves than women.” These figures clearly suggest to us that there is a mental health pandemic amongst us, which is why breaking the stigma is important now more than ever.

When you are depressed you feel alone, and that no one is going through quite what you are going through. You are so scared of appearing in any way mad you internalise everything, and you are so scared that people will alienate you further you clam up and don’t speak about it, which is a shame, as speaking about it helps.

Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

These are just a few topics Matt touches on in his book ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’. He also explores the benefits and drawbacks surrounding medication, exercise and therapies. What coping mechanisms work for him, including some discussion on what he has learnt from Buddhist thought in controlling his anxiety.

Matt also discusses how the modern world has set us up for failure due to the feeling that we will always need more, stating that: “The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more?”

Life is waiting for you. You might be stuck here for a while, but the world isn’t going anywhere. Hang on in there if you can. Life is always worth it.

Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

Matt’s story is truly inspiring and a message to anyone who feels suicidal that things really will get better again. Matt found a way to live and enjoy life, something he never thought he would ever be able to do again. Mental health is an ongoing journey, doubts can fill your mind and depression can creep up on you, but learning to control those thoughts and to know that you are more than what your depression and anxiety is telling you, is the present theme throughout ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’.

If these topics interest you then I’d recommend you grab this book! It’s a great starting place for anyone wanting to grasp more of an understanding on depression and anxiety. Matt honestly and authentically captures the experiences of mental illness. After facing his own struggles he is not hesitant in stating that life is really hard. However, we can learn to see the beauty of it again within the simple moments, not everyday is promised to be amazing, but it will get better.

Links to mental health support

  1. https://www.samaritans.org/
  2. https://www.mind.org.uk/
  3. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

Reasons to Stay Alive: https://www.waterstones.com/book/reasons-to-stay-alive/matt-haig/9781782116820