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Practicing mindfulness

I’ve been uploading quite a few politics focused posts recently, so today I decided to talk about another subject I am equally passionate about…mental health. I love to write these posts and they get a great response from you all, so I hope you enjoy.

If you’re in the UK, like myself, you’ll be in lockdown 2.0 right now, with not much longer to go before another set of changes. Uncertainty is the theme of 2020, honest to god, who knew we were going to be in another lockdown in November. With that uncertainty for the future has come a huge amount of anxiety. Feeling okay with just not knowing what next week is even going to look like can be very hard, I know I’ve definitely struggled with it.

For a lot of lockdown I felt the constant need to fill my time and to be as productive as possible. Whether that was taking online courses, reading, learning a new skill, even making this website, I had to be doing something otherwise I would be worrying about what was going to happen next or where I’d be in a post-corona world (whenever that is lol). I was desperate to not feel like I’d wasted a large chunk of life watching TV and pretty much doing nothing, however throughout an on and off lockdown from March to now, I’ve learnt that doing nothing sometimes is perfectly okay and in some cases is hugely important for our mental health, we can’t always be go go go! I spoke about this more in a recent post called ‘The Wonders of Self Care’.

Since that post I’ve been working on being more mindful, showing myself more respect and being more self-aware, and I have to say it’s done a lot of good. I think the fact that we just never know what’s going on at the moment or what the future holds can be very un-nerving. I’m definitely one to look to the future and worry things won’t work out, but with our current climate it can be even more worrying not knowing what is going on. I’ve decided that in order to combat that feeling I have to be more mindful and self-aware, I need to be doing what I can to stay sane in the moment. We never really know what is going to happen in the future, so instead, focusing on what is going on right now can settle that worry and uncertainty.

What is mindfulness and why is it important?

It is easy to end up living in our own heads and not being aware of what is really going on around us, how we are feeling, or what our thoughts are really telling us. We end up becoming stuck in auto-pilot, living out our days, unaware of our thoughts and how they effect the way we view and talk to ourselves. Mindfulness unlocks the ability to show ourselves self-respect and kindness, this then translates into our everyday lives.

When we practice mindfulness it allows us to see our own thought patterns and why certain situations or scenarios make us feel a certain way, we can train ourselves to better deal with these situations. When we are mindful of our emotions we can notice signs of stress or anxiety and mange them more effectively. If we are more self-aware of what is going on in our head we can control it and not fixate on negative feelings or emotions. We learn self-discipline and how to ensure our thoughts don’t control us, we control them.

Meditation and mindfulness has lots of proven benefits to our mental and physical health. It can lower stress levels, improve your sleep, improve your focus and attention span, help to prevent depression relapses, reduce anxiety and increases the size of grey matter in your brain. It was found in a study that consistent meditation and mindfulness increased grey matter in the left hippocampus, the posterior cingulate cortex, temporo-parietal junction, and cerebellum. These areas of the brain deal with the regulation of emotion, learning processes, perspective and memory. As well as this, there has been evidence to show that mindfulness can reduce chronic pain and lower blood pressure. Overall mindfulness is significantly helpful in improving our wellbeing.

It can be scary or intimidating for some people to meditate or practice mindfulness, when you stop and sit in silence a lot of worries and thoughts come flooding in. It is important to remind yourself that these are just thoughts in your head and the more you focus on them the more they fill you with anxiety. You should instead turn away from them and remind yourself that these are just feelings, they don’t manifest in reality, they are just doubts, they are not real.

How have I been practicing mindfulness?

Each day I’ve been doing a meditation / affirmation morning routine to focus myself for the day. I’ve never been one to think this type of exercise is effective but I have found that it really helps to calm me and start my day right.

I put on some meditation or wave sound music and I breathe slowly and deeply, focusing on that breathing, any thoughts that would try to jump in I turn away from and focus my thoughts back onto following my breathing or listening to the sounds in the music. After this, I continue breathing and practice positive self talk and affirmations, reminding myself of what I’m grateful for right now in my life and focusing on the good, even if they are small things. The constant reminder of these affirmations each morning allows me to check myself and fight doubts I may be having. The journey of self-improvement is never an easy one, some days it is harder to focus than others, but sticking to the routine is so important.

I think meditation and mindfulness teaches you really important skills about controlling your thoughts. It’s easy to slip into a pattern of negative thinking, so forcing yourself even for 5 minutes to sit and breathe and to only focus on that breathing shows you that you have the ability to say no to the negative thoughts or doubts trying to enter your mind. It shows you that you have discipline and that you are in control of what’s going on in your head. I think this is an important mindset to learn and so far this routine has been incredibly helpful for me to centre myself and start my day correctly. Without showing discipline to your thoughts and being more aware of them, it can become much easier to fall into a negative spiral because you aren’t always aware of what does cause the spiral. Understanding your thoughts and being mindful of them is a good way of understanding what can trigger a path of negative thinking and then ensuring that you don’t take that path.

You should take the time to focus on the right here and right now, being grateful for what you have and reminding yourself of the good in the very day you are in, even if it is one small thing like the weather. Reminding yourself of the bigger picture means you get a better perspective of what’s really going on, and maybe that one thing you were stressing about soooo much, really isn’t as big as you thought it was. I think that there is a lot to learn about being mindful, and a lot it can teach us in terms of emotional agility and resilience through challenges times, like this very pandemic. Many of us have found this year challenging, it has affected our whole way of life, even our perspective on life. Checking in with yourself and being mindful of how you are really feeling is more important now than ever. So, take this as your reminder to crack open your window, let in some fresh air, breathe deeply, be grateful, and remind yourself of who you really are, remember that you can control the thoughts in your head.

Can we be friends with our political opponents?

Today’s post is a follow up to my last post on political polarisation. If you haven’t read that one yet, click here. Today I’ll be talking more closely about how polarisation and differing political opinions affect our relationships and friendships.

We have all become very politically saturated in society. Politics takes up a large part of regular conversation, it’s no longer taboo to talk politics, it’s become part of regular discourse. With that, politics has saturated our conversation, including with our friends and family. So, when our friends have different political opinions to our own, can we get along even if we have different political ideals? I’ll be discussing this today.

Politics is personal, its our identity…

Politics has become very much personal over the years. It’s not just a passing remark to say you voted for a different political party, in some cases its an insult or violation to our political identity. To say you voted for a different political party, is to say I value this over what you value. When a certain policy effects the way we live out our lives, for example, LGBTQ+ rights, racial equality, gender pay gaps or low-income support, it can feel very offensive, and like a personal attack, when someone says they do not believe in a policy that protects those rights. In that case it can feel very personal when someone opposes your political ideals and values.

Our political values are becoming more and more a part of who we are and how we choose to live, disagreeing with that is like saying I do not agree with the way you live your life, and we take that very personally, because it is something that defines who we are and what we believe in.

Friends who don’t support your human rights and values…aren’t friends

I think it’s best to get the obvious out the way. If someone’s political values and beliefs mean that they do not support your fundamental human rights, then they are not a friend to be keeping around. You simply cannot disagree on human rights, and be friends. If someone is saying any of the following statements to you and they correlate with a part of your identity, then they are not a friend.

  • ‘I like you, but I don’t believe in gay marriage’
  • ‘You’re great, but, I don’t think that our governmental systems restrict people of colour.’
  • ‘I think that the gender pay gap is just something women are complaining about’
  • ‘You are transgender though, you shouldn’t be allowed to use the women’s bathroom if you aren’t biologically a woman.’

The person telling you that, is not your friend. That person is supporting policies that restrict how you live, they are dictating your place in society. They are choosing to ignore your rights and on an even more personal note as a friend, your individual struggles, they don’t support you because they don’t value your rights or your political identity. That is not okay, they have to go. Overall, even communicating with someone who doesn’t support your basic human rights is next to impossible, so being friends is just a no go zone.

I think in situations such as this, you get those people who think that just because identity politics doesn’t impact them, they don’t have to worry. If you’re a white heterosexual man, society was built for you to thrive, there’s a fat chance you’ve never thought about your identity or your place in society, because it’s never impacted a decision you’ve had to make. Due to this mindset, thinking about other peoples rights may not cross your mind, you don’t have to worry because it doesn’t affect your life. But, other peoples lives are affected. Even if you don’t need to worry about your own rights, you should worry about others. You don’t have to be a part of the minority to care about the rights of the minority. If you don’t and your friends are part of that minority, it is not okay to not support their rights just because ‘you don’t have to worry’, open your eyes and support other people in society, not just yourself. It’s not a good enough reason to not have to think about how political policy impacts other peoples lives just because it doesn’t impact yours. If you have friends that are oppressed or restricted by a party your vote for, your a bad friend.

Do not be friends with people who do not support your basic rights, this shouldn’t even be political. This is not a debate topic. You can’t compromise when it comes to human rights. You definitely can’t be friends with people who disagree with your rights, that’s for sure.

But what about small disagreements about politics, that aren’t close to our identity?

When it comes to politics or areas in policy we aren’t so passionate about or focused on, we can have a fairly healthy debate and even disagreement with friends. The likelihood of this discussion is that you will still be friends at the end because your identity is not so closely attached to the policy, or you have less passion associated to the area.

Let’s imagine you are talking to your friend about an area in current political discourse that neither of you have strong opinions about, if they were to object to your opinion you would not feel particularly upset or attacked by their disagreement. If you and your friend do not strongly lean either way you may end up being convinced by your friends opinion or you may mutually agree to disagree. Either way you carry on the friendship with that person because you both respect eachothers opinion, even when you have minor disagreements.

The main reason this communication was successful was because you and your friend were both fairly neutral about the topic anyway, you may not agree, but you were not on polar opposite ends of the political spectrum. If however, your friend was to say they didn’t think the recent transgender rights reform was important and you or a close friend or family member was transgender and this topic was important to you, you would feel very attacked by this comment. You are no longer discussing a part of politics that you feel neutral about. You feel strongly about this topic and a friend disagreeing with transgender reform feels like an attack on values that you deem important.

We see this in multiple different scenarios. You may not feel bothered about the way the UK trades with other countries, but you care strongly about protecting low income families. In that case, when someone debates with you about foreign policy you are fairly neutral and engage in healthy debate with friends or family, but when someone challenges you about free school meals or argues that we should increase the charge of transport for kids to get to school, you will not want to entertain a debate such as this because you are passionate about it and you are not willing to compromise on something that is so important to you.

When things are close to our identity or our political values they aren’t up for debate and in some cases, we are not willing to entertain an opponent because, like in the last example, having free school meals is simply essential. There are things we view as ‘not up for debate’ and when someone tries to challenge this, it attacks our literal political identity. We take it very personally.

In that case, if our friends disagree with some of our opinions about politics that we don’t prioritise highly, that friendship can continue, but if a friend doesn’t support the same core values as us, we can find it very hard to be friends with them because our political values and identity are too different. The way we live our lives and the values we hold close to our hearts should be supported by our friends, not challenged.

Concluding thoughts

I think we can debate about policy we don’t hold close to our political identity and if a friend doesn’t agree about a policy that isn’t a number one priority to us, then that’s okay, as long as they do support what is important to us. A friend can’t be your friend but also not support policy that determines your rights as an individual and your freedom in society.

Surrounding yourself with friends that have the same core values as you is important. Especially when those values are so closely tied to your identity. This is why we surround ourselves with people who support or vote for the same party as we do, because we share important values about how society should be and the livelihood of others. However, this is also the reason why polarisation continues to divide us.

Pro-life supporters signs.

Finding a common ground between people who disagree on core political values can be difficult, some policies completely contradict the other, for example, pro-choice and pro-life, wealth inequality and lowering taxes for the richer of society. These different sides of policy often struggle to find a middle ground because they are both on the opposite end of the debate. I’m going to look into this a little more in a post to come with the help of the YouTube channel Jubilee and their series called ‘Middle Ground’ where they put people in the same room with completely different opinions and make them debate, some outcomes are really not what you expect.

Pro-choice supporters signs.

That being said, realistically we can’t be friends with someone who is polar opposite to our political beliefs because we both would impose values onto eachother that don’t correlate with the way we want to live our life. I myself could not be friends with someone who doesn’t believe in LGBTQ+ rights, racial equality or women’s rights because that means the other person is willing to oppress those communities, even giving them the time of day sends shivers down my spine. Learning how to communicate with people who don’t believe in the same thing as we do is important if we are to see change in our society, so I am hoping that looking at how people do find middle ground when they disagree on so much will be insightful, so make sure to come back to that article!

Today’s post felt a little like a ramble of my never ending thoughts since writing my dissertation and how we can reconcile communication with such different people when they really are sooo different, but I hope you still enjoyed it! 🙂

Political polarisation and the future of democracy

Today I’m going to be discussing a topic that has become part of mainstream conversation recently, and in the last couple of years in political discourse, polarisation. This is a hugely important topic to be talking about, especially in today’s political climate. The reason why political polarisation is so necessary for us to talk about is because it threatens the longevity of democracy and the way we communicate with eachother. I have been planning on writing this post since I created this blog and I think with the recent US election, the idea of polarisation could not be more prevalent right now.

At university I focused a lot of my learning around political philosophy so naturally when the time came for me to pick a dissertation topic…I choose politics. My dissertation was about voter ignorance and the effects political polarisation has on our ability to communicate and engage in political discourse. I looked into an argument that critically evaluated the sustainability of democracy in our current political climate. I assessed how valid this argument was and explored ways to combat ignorance and to limit polarisation. Political philosophy was, and still is one of my favourite areas to read, write and talk about, so I hope you find todays article interesting and insightful!

What is polarisation and why does it happen?

Polarisation is when we intensify our beliefs and values because we are surrounded by likeminded people. When we communicate with like-minded people, we begin to hold our beliefs and political opinions in a higher regard. We become a more extreme version of ourselves.

In some cases, we have a strong reason to shift in intensity of our view, we may have been supplied with actual facts and information that gives us a reason to intensify our beliefs.

In other cases, we are merely surrounding ourselves with people who have the same opinion as our own, for obvious reasons this will increase our confidence. We place ourselves into an echo-chamber that is biased towards what we already believe. People are affirming our opinion instead of challenging it.

Another reason why our opinions can polarise is due to the internet and our social environment. Our environments are organised around our lifestyle, identity, and preferences. Politics has worked its way into our identity, because of this, we are more likely to socialise with people who share the same political beliefs as us, meaning we are constantly communicating with people who agree with us. We aren’t being challenged to revaluate our views; we are merely confirming what we already believe. A study I looked into for my dissertation even suggested that people who share the same political opinions are likely to shop at the same places, creating an even bigger divide between us and our opponents, even in the way we live out our daily lives.

As for online, this environment is personalised to what we support. Imagine you come across a tweet that has over 50k likes and is supporting your political belief. This will affirm to you that the belief is worth holding because other people agree with you. You will then hold the belief in a higher regard, making you more extreme. The internet has become a polarisation machine of other people online affirming their original beliefs. We know that our social media suggests certain content to us that we like, so when this comes to our political opinions, we are constantly suggested posts and tweets that are similar to our political values. We agree more and more, without being challenged, furthering our extremity. We live in our own personalised bubbles.

How does polarisation influence the way we communicate?

Effective argumentation and communication cannot exist in a society where its citizens are polarised. Polarisation leads to deep divides. If our opinion is challenged when we are polarised, we cannot effectively compromise or communicate with our opponent. We view these people as completely absurd. In my dissertation, I referenced a recent Pew study from the US, in that study people described their political opponents as ‘misguided, unintelligent, dishonest and immoral.” Even further than this ‘a threat to the nation’. We don’t even want to engage with our opponents. We view our opposition as almost dumb or naïve to have the opinions that they hold. For me personally, in what world would you want to remove access to healthcare or protection for the transgender community? To think that way appears oppressive and malignant to me, but to my opponents they are their ideologies. When we view someone in this way there is absolutely no way, we would want to productively communicate with them or compromise. This only furthers us into our group identity and bridges an even greater gap between those with opposing ideals.

These graphs above and below, show that overtime in the US polarisation had let to even further shifts in the divide between republicans and democrats in their ideology. The republican party becomes even more far-right and the democratic party becomes even more far-left. This is because the parties have adapted to the increase in polarisation; democrats are aiming to become way more progressive to keep up with Black Lives Matter, women’s reproductive rights, gender pay gaps, transgender rights, ending wealth inequality etc. Whilst republicans have become far more right leaning and conservative with immigration laws, white supremacy, lower taxes and actively working against progressive rights. As these two parties continue to shift apart it becomes even harder for them to communicate because their values and ideology could not be more different. The other party works directly against the other.

Something I found particularly interesting in my dissertation is that polarisation even affects the way people interpret information. We don’t even believe the facts that are given to us, we are so stubborn and stuck to our view, we will believe anything that supports our belief, even if it is baseless claims and we will reject everything that supports our opposition, even if it is hard evidence. We see this right now in America with people believing baseless claims of voter fraud, purely because it will protect their own views and discourage the opposing one. If we don’t even believe hard facts, then how are we supposed to reason with people?

Reasoned communication is something we cannot properly do when we are polarised. Reasons are not required for people to shift in extremity of their views; by merely agreeing with someone’s views they can hold their belief with more confidence. Consequently, we are left with a society of people who hold their political belief with a huge amount of confidence, yet cannot adequately provide reasons as to why, nor can they competently reason with other individuals to defend their unjustified views. All we end up having is an abundance of baseless claims and assumptions that cannot further a conversation or any productive political discourse. We have two radicalising sides of the political spectrum that are furthering away from one another, leading to growing resentment and division.

Where does this leave us and democracy?

If we can’t fix this it will only get worse, we will divide even further, which is the conclusion I made in my dissertation. Communication is everything and unfortunately, we are in a very toxic relationship with our democracy and our political discourse. If we can’t learn how to communicate with people who disagree with us and compromise, democracy will fail us.

Polarisation is becoming rapidly uncontrollable; it completely limits our democratic capacity and does create harsh political divides and these divides do undermine democracy. Whether or not we can reconcile is a whole other matter but as we continue to become more extreme and further leaning in our beliefs, communication will only get worse and so will the divide.

Democracy can only function when citizens reason and engage with each other and are open to criticism. In our political climate people are in no way open to criticism or opposing views. We can only hope that changes in administrations and governmental practices will allow us to heal and steer towards a place where we can communicate effectively and reason with eachother.

If we look at the US election, Biden’s win does bring hope that the US can steer towards a place where productive communication can happen, and everyone’s voices can be heard. But the election was tight, Trumpism has not gone away and the divide between democrats and republicans is a bitter one. There are still millions of people in the US who essentially hate democrats and vice versa, they both believe that the other party will destroy the country. These types of people cannot effectively communicate, and it has led to a sour division is America. Without healing that division, it will get violent and democracy won’t be able to support everyone anymore. The way we communicate must get better for the sake of democracy.

But how do you reconcile with someone who doesn’t even support your rights as a human being? Can we effectively communicate with people who have such different political opinions and values to our own? Have we already become too polarised? Politics is very personal; we all have our own political identity. I’ll be looking into this possibility of reconciliation in my next article, so be sure to return or follow to check that out!

I hope you enjoyed todays post and found it informative. Maybe you’ll walk away from this with slightly more of an open mind and a readiness to communicate with someone who challenges your own views. Unless they completely disagree with your basic human rights, in which case…we do not negotiate with terrorists, but I’ll save that for next time!

Sunshine Blogger Awards

Welcome back to my blog, I’m excited to say today that I have been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award!

Thank you so much to the blog Wire Rimmed Glasses for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. Be sure to check out their blog for inspiring lifestyle content!

Today’s post is going to be a little different from my usual content, but I am excited to share it with you all! Hopefully you’ll learn a little more about me in the process!

Sunshine Blogger Award Rules

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
  3. Nominate 11 people and ask them 11 new questions.
  4. Notify the nominees by commenting on one of their posts.
  5. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award in your post.

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to those bloggers by other bloggers who are creative, positive and inspiring. Once nominated, a blogger is required to write a post in which they thank the blogger for nominating them and link back to their blog.

Questions

What is something you can’t wait to do after the pandemic is over?

One thing I can’t wait to do once the pandemic is over is definitely travel more. After I graduated, I had lots of plans to go away on trips to celebrate, but unfortunately coronavirus hit us all hard. Realising, the severity of the situation, this really was not the end of the world for me that I wouldn’t be able to travel.

However, once the world is safe again, I’d love to go on these trips with friends and loved ones. My 21st year of life will be on hold until that day, thank you very much.

What is one country or city you would like to see someday?

Carrying on from the last question, I would love to visit Greece. It was on the list for 2020 but sadly did not happen. It just looks like the coolest place, the beaches, the towns, the Mamma Mia vibes. I just would love to see it.

There are so many places on the list, I have been lucky enough to see some parts of Europe, but I’d also love to see Norway and Germany as well! Expanding out of Europe; Vietnam and Bali are also top of the list, though these are probably further off in my life for now. I am realising this is definitely more than one place, I’ll stop now!

Do you think aliens exist?

To think they don’t exist is just boring right? There has got to be something else out there on a different planet, surely it can’t just be us.

What is at the top of your bucket list?

I know I’ve already said it but I just want to travel so badly, it’s just 100000% no 1 on the top of my list. If we are getting specific though, I want to go to a place like the Maldives or Bora Bora with those overwater rooms. They look so magical and peaceful. I could just jump off straight into the sea, the sunsets look amazing, the beaches look insane. Visiting a place like that is definitely top of the bucket list.

If you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you would buy?

The sensible answer would be to get myself a house, decorate it etc. And to be honest this would probably be what I would do first, but obviously I’d also love to travel and support my loved ones as well…kind of a typical answer for this one.

What is your astrological sign?

I am a Leo, I was born on July 26th. I’ve never been one to really follow astrological signs, purely because I couldn’t feel further from a Leo as a person, maybe that makes me a Leo I really don’t know?

Leo’s seem like loud, eccentric, and extremely confident, correct me if I’m wrong. I’ve never really thought those were defining features of who I am, I’m definitely not one for the limelight. However, they do seem like loyal friends and determined people, so I’ll take that!

What is your favourite movie or show?

I definitely prefer TV shows to movies. One of my favourite shows is Bojack Horseman. It’s a cartoon sitcom about a famous human-horse living in LA who peaked in the 90’s. I know, it sounds weird and there is actually no way to explain it without it sounding weird.

I love the show so much because it deals with such important topics such as substance abuse, depression, anxiety, workaholism, actual alcoholism and identity crisis’. You’ll be laughing and then crying, I really do recommend it. I must have watched the whole thing through 4 times at least.

Do you have any hidden talents?

Honestly, I really don’t think I do, but I can do a pretty good Australian accent and a dolphin impression if that counts.

If you could meet any person in the world, alive or dead, who would it be?

This is one of those question I think about for an unacceptably long amount of time and still will never be completely content with the answer, there are far too many people I would just want to sit down and have a long discussion with. I’m actually going to try and stick to one answer for this question.

I would want to meet Kimberlé Crenshaw and just talk to her and learn from her about her theory, intersectionality. I read huge amounts of papers and books by philosophers, politicians, and economists at university, but when I was learning about intersectionality and identity politics, Crenshaw’s paper and research was just so interesting to me, so to be able to just hear her talk about it would be inspiring. There are many other philosophers and theorists I’d love to hear from but Crenshaw is definitely top of the list.

If you would like to read a bit about Crenshaw’s theory click here. Alternatively you could watch her TED talk.

What is the last thing you ate?

Tuna and avocado salad…tryna remain healthy in lockdown 2.0.

What is your favourite month and why?

My favourite month would have to be October, or to be slightly less specific, the Autumn season.

Every year I cannot get enough of the crisp air, the leaves changing colour and the weather getting a little colder.

There is nothing better than a crisp sunny autumn day and I feel like October has the best Autumn days before it turns completely cold and rainy and all the leaves have fallen.

I nominate…

These are some of my favourite bloggers right now that I love and would like to nominate for this award too. Some are recent discoveries, all are inspiring and creative people!

Questions for nominees

  1. What’s your favourite season?
  2. Where is one place in the world you would love to travel to?
  3. What’s something you’ve learnt about yourself during the pandemic?
  4. What’s your favourite book?
  5. What happened today that made you smile?
  6. What do you love to do as a form of self-care?
  7. Who’s your favourite artist/musician?
  8. What advice would you give to someone as we enter lockdown 2 or generally throughout the pandemic?
  9. What’s your favourite food?
  10. What’s something you wish you could tell your childhood self?
  11. What made you start blogging?

Thank You

Thank you again for the nomination Wire Rimmed Sunglasses. I hope you all enjoyed this post today and got to know a bit more about me. Also welcome new followers to my blog! I hope you enjoy the content and thank you for the support!

Some good news

After my last post I felt the need to share some good news in the world. It can be hard to find the good in such a challenging year. We are constantly bombarded with COVID-19 updates that seem like there is no end in site, another horrific and heartless attack on a minority community and never-ending politics from governments that fail to support communities that need it.

These are all very important news stories and we need to bring awareness to them as much as we can. But for today I’m going to take a breather and share some good news because as important as it is to be politically and socially aware, sometimes we need some good news to know that the world isn’t a complete lost cause.

Consuming too much bad news can be detrimental to our mental health. There are plenty of studies out there to show you that consuming negative news will lower your mood. Having a blend of positive news with general news helps to lessen the burden that is 2020 and it’s constant stream of bad news. So, consider this your positivity pick me up of the day.

Marcus Rashford’s ‘end child food poverty’ campaign

Marcus Rashford has been nothing but an angel this year. After Rashford’s successful campaign to secure free school meals over the summer, Labour bid to extend the free school meals over the Christmas holiday which was rejected by Tory MP’s.

Despite the Tory’s turning a blind eye to hungry children, communities and councils have rallied together to ensure children will not go hungry this half term or this Christmas. Councils such as Manchester, Birmingham, Kent and Kensington have agreed to still supply vouchers for pupils over this half term. As well as the PM’s own constituency.

A map that shows places offering free meals to kids this half term. To access the map click here.

The government and Tory’s may have failed this country, but it’s communities are there to support children who need it. Marcus Rashford’s end child food poverty campaign has seen hundreds of restaurants and food providers rally together to donate food and hot meals in their local community. All over the UK small businesses and organisations, football clubs and universities have been donating food to those on free school meals. On the hashtag #endchildfoodpoverty on twitter there are many organisations pledging lunches and hot meals in various local areas.

Rashford helping out at Fare Share Greater Manchester, an organisation helping to offer meals to children this half term.

Rashford stated “even at their lowest point, having felt the devastating effects of the pandemic, local businesses have wrapped arms around their communities today, catching vulnerable children as they fell.” Even though our government may have let down the children who need support, our communities have carried on to give all they can despite the hardships the pandemic has had on many of us.

Huge organisations such as Sainsburys, Hovis, Heinz, Nando’s, Weetabix and Tesco to just name a few have joined the Child Food Poverty Task Force to support the 3 national food strategy policy recommendations. As a collective these companies endorse these recommendations to tackle child food poverty. Some of these organisations are also pledging food to vulnerable children such as Tesco and their partnership with Fare Share.

If you enter your postcode in this link it will direct you to places that are offering free meals this half term, not all participating organisations are on this link so do still check online to see what places are donating: https://www.schoolmealfinder.org/Search?postcode

Also click here to sign the petition to end child food poverty and to expand access to free school meals. It is close to a million signatures now!

Tasmanian devils make a comeback in mainland Australia

More than 3000 years ago, Tasmanian devils had died out in the mainland of Australia, now 26 Tasmanian devils have been introduced back. They have been released into a wildlife sanctuary in Sydney by Aussie Ark.

Aussie Ark’s release of the Tasmanian devil’s

These new Tasmania devils have come from an Aussie Ark breeding program. They grew from 44 in 2011 to now more than 200. The devils have been raised with natural behaviours so that they have a better chance of surviving in the wild. Tasmanian devils, like most of the wild, natural systems of the earth are great for our ecosystem. They are scavengers which helps to keep the environment free from disease, they also help to control the populations of feral cats and foxes which hunt other endangered species.

Aussie Ark are hoping to reintroduce other species into the wildlife sanctuary in part of their plan to re-wild the environment, as well as more Tasmanian devils. This project offers a ray of hope after the wildfires at the start of this year that struck disaster to the wild environment in Australia.

Tim Faulkner, the president of Aussie Ark, said that “in 100 years, we are going to be looking back at this day as the day that set in motion the ecological restoration of an entire country.” He explained that the Tasmanian devils can restore and rebalance the forest ecology and they will engineer their own self-sustainable environment.

To read more about the release of the Tasmanian devils in Australia click here to view the Aussie Ark’s website and to donate to the project.

Eba the eco-warrior dog

Eba, a young shelter dog is using her unique talent to help save the orca whales. Eba can detect whale poop and has been assisting a University research team. Eba’s owner is a marine biologist at the University of Washington’s Centre for Conservation Biology. Eba was not adopted with the intention to become part of the research team but has proven to be a useful team member.

Eba is now part of ‘Conservation Canines’, a dog training programme that helps to hunt for marine wildlife poop. This has proven incredibly helpful for researchers as it allows them to access information about genetics, general health, stress levels and the presence of toxicity in the whales diet. Eba’s role is so important because it means the researchers do not have to get to close to the orca whales and stress out the pod in any way, they keep at a respectful distance because Eba can smell from far away.

Eba and her owner Deborah Giles conduct their studies in the Canadian Gulf Islands, the pod they research has 74 members. Their work goes towards ensuring the conservation and recovery of the endangered orca whale species.

For more good news…

If you’re looking for a place to find your good news I would recommend Positive.News, they do a great weekly round up of all the good things that happened within the week as well as other positive news stories. I have linked some of my personal recent favourites below.

For Instagram you can check out The Happy Broadcast and The Happy News!

Domestic terrorism: white supremacist terror

Today I’m going to be discussing a very important topic that poses a threat to all communities. It is an area that is increasing in threat levels. This could be a trigger for various minority communities as I will be discussing far-right hate attacks and ideologies. This is one of those topics that is not nice to hear about, but, one we need to be aware of as I believe it is one of the biggest threats to modern society.

There is a racial and prejudice stereotype about terrorism in the West. This has created hostility towards non-white communities, particularly Muslim communities. This prejudice continues to grow and has created a whole group of people who bring about terrorism in the west; white supremacists or far-right extremists. Their hateful ideologies are causing harm to our communities and recently white supremacists have become the biggest terror threat to the western world.

White supremacist terror is very prominent within the US, but that doesn’t mean the threat doesn’t exist right here in the UK. So, today I wanted to briefly talk about the US and then dive more into the threat in the UK.

What is white supremacy?

White supremacism is the belief that white people are the superior race and that they should therefore dominate all races. This is a far-right extremist belief. It is a hateful and dangerous ideology that has led to colonialism, increase in hate crimes, genocide and a long painful history of oppression.

The term has become a political ideology that wishes to maintain the social, political, historical and institutional domination of white people. The beliefs often rely on the now discredited scientific racism doctrine and on pseudoscientific arguments, meaning that they are mistakenly or wrongfully relying on scientific methods to prove something that is false.

White supremacists in the US

The best way to get an idea of the threat white supremacists or far-right extremists pose in the US is to look through the statistics. This is purely because the facts are all there. Domestic terrorism is high and it continues to rise.

  • Since 9/11 white supremacists and other far-right extremists have been responsible for 3x as many attacks on US soil as Islamic terrorists.
  • 2019 was the 6th deadliest year for domestic extremist-related killings. 90% of these killings were from right-wing extremists.
  • The September 2020 draft report from Homeland Security stated that white supremacists presented the greatest threat to the US. These attacks have become far more lethal since Trump became president.
  • From 2009-2018 far right extremists have been responsible for 73% of domestic extremist-related casualties.
  • 2018 and 2019 were the most lethal of all domestic extremism movements over the last 20 years.

The main point we can take away from these stats is that far-right extremist attacks are the biggest threat to the US, and they are still on the rise. These attacks are racially and politically motivated and they aim to incite hate. They are becoming more and more lethal. The added factor of gun violence means these attacks just keep getting worse. There is an epidemic of tragic mass shootings.

One of the biggest factors as to why domestic terrorism has been reaching record highs is also due to the President himself. Trump continually downplays the threat of right-wing extremists. In the early days of his presidency, Trump stripped Homeland Security which focused on combatting violent extremism. As well as also pulling funding that was meant for organisations countering neo-Nazis, white supremacists and other likeminded groups. Efforts to combat domestic extremism came to a halt. In fact the Trump administration focused federal resources on Islamist terrorism even though the greater risk was coming from right-wing extremists. Trump even tried to change the name of ‘Countering Violent Extremism’ to ‘Countering Radical Islamic Extremism’. Trump repeatedly turns a blind eye to the real threat posed to the US; hateful ideologically driven violence.

In a very recent study from the Centre for Strategic and International Studies it was found that white supremacist groups were responsible for 41/61 terrorist plots and attacks in the first 8 months of 2020. That is 67%. Many Americans believe that Trump’s denunciations of left-wing activists and his refusal to condemn an extremist right-wing group has raised fears throughout the year of politically motivated violence. The study warned that violence could continue to rise after the presidential election because of concerns about polarisation, economic hardships, racial injustice and the ever-growing issue of coronavirus. If Biden was to win the report believed white supremacists would violently mobilise against Black, Asian, Muslim, LGBTQ+, Jewish and Latino communities. Protestors and demonstrators are increasingly being targeted which is alarming, particularly when those protesters are exercising their freedom of speech.

White supremacists in the UK

Police have said that the fastest growing UK terror threat comes from far-right extremists. The head of counterterrorism in the UK, Neil Basu, said that 7/22 plots foiled since March 2017 where linked to far-right ideology. Some of these plots were designed to kill, mimicking the attacks seen in jihadist attacks. This rise in threat and hate crime came in the period following the vote to leave the EU in the years 2016-2018. These groups in the UK range from anti-immigration, anti-Islam, Islamophobia, white nationalists, neo-Nazi’s, National Action and Sonnenkrieg Division.

Examples of white terror in the UK

David Copeland

David Copeland, a self-confessed racist and homophobe, was jailed for attacks on Brick Lane, Soho and Brixton in 1999 in a 13-day nail bombing attack that killed 3 people and injured 139. The first attack in Brixton was intended to harm the black community, 48 were injured. A week later in Brick Lane a second bomb was set to target the Bangladeshi community in east London. A passer by in a stroke of luck found the bag containing the bomb, mistaking it for lost property and put it inside their car, reporting it to the police. The final attack was targeting the LGBTQ+ community. This bomb had 1,500 nails and went off at Admiral Duncan Pub in Soho, central London. When Copeland was arrested police discovered Nazi flags hanging in his bedroom along with news reports of his bombings.

Thomas Mair

Thomas Mair, in a politically motivated attack, murdered Labour MP Jo Cox outside a library in West Yorkshire on June 16th 2016. It was discovered that Mair had been using the library computers, just where Cox was devastatingly attacked, to learn about the KKK and how they had killed people supporting civil rights. When his home was raided they discovered an extreme nationalist and racist library, as well as Nazi ornaments and literature about white supremacy. The Southern Poverty Law Centre, an American anti-fascist organisation, has published records that showed Mair had bought books about explosives from the neo-Nazi National Alliance. Those orders were made days after the Copeland attacks in London, attempting to start a ‘race war’.

National Action

National action are unashamedly racist and overtly neo-Nazi. The group claim they are patriotic yet are hostile to all rules of law, democratic processes and people who do not share their views. They were disbanded in 2016 after a government assessment that deemed National action to be an extreme racist, homophobic and anti-Semitic group that raised a concern of terrorist action as well as glorifying terrorism and extreme violence. The group was described as “a really dangerous, well-structured organisation at the heart of a neo-Nazi ideology that seeks to divide communities.” They do still remain active in places but some people have been convicted for holding a membership.

The group was founded in 2014 by Ben Raymond and Alex Davies. They believed British far-right organisations had been diluted so they aimed to respawn far-right extremism. They believe in white power and targeted specific political leaders for being ‘race traitors’.

Oskar Dunn-Koczorowsk and Michal Szewczuk

These two teenagers were jailed for terrorism offences and for being part of the far-right extremist group Sonnenkrieg Division. They encouraged an attack on Prince Harry for marrying a women of mixed race, outside of his own race. They deemed he should be shot for being a ‘race traitor’ and stated that white women who date non-white men should be hanged.

The teens ran personal accounts sharing far-right propaganda that encouraged terrorist attacks, specifically lone attacks against the public. Police found Szewczuk in possession of bomb-making instructions and a white resistance manual when he was a student at the University of Portsmouth.

Martin Snowden, the head of counter terrorism policing in the north-east of England, explained that the teenagers saw themselves as superior to the majority. He explained that it “only takes one individual to be encouraged or be inspired by that propaganda to take that further step” and this “represents a significant risk”.

Links to extra resources

I have linked articles and reports on UK terror attacks from far-right extremists below. I have summarised here their ideologies and attacks in an attempt to censor horrific details, this is also the reason for the lack of photos in this article. If you would like to read more about this topic and the prison sentences, as well as responses from judges, they are all in these articles. The Copeland article features reports from victims 20 years on.

The fuel of the dark internet

Both in the UK and the US, even globally, the internet is the fuel to hateful ideologies fire. It continues the spread and extends the reach of hate groups online. The internet has brought about a new era of violence. White nationalism grows because of the dark corners of the internet that incites violence and allows aspiring white supremacist terrorists to draw inspiration from other killers. They in some cases on different message board forums and sites attempt to copy eachother and one up different attacks. The internet has allowed hateful ideologies to spiral out of control, particularly in the US, where gun violence poses an even greater threat to communities.

Prejudice towards Muslim Communities

Throughout all of this the Muslim community have been discriminated and terrorised against. The islamophobia present in white supremacists hateful views creates violence against innocent Muslim lives. There is a mainstream prejudice against Muslim communities, one possessed particularly by far-right groups that expresses violent hatred against all Muslims. Unfortunately this hatred has led to various targeted attacks towards Muslim communities, with the attack on mosques.

This prejudice is fuelled by false and toxic narratives in the media. When a white supremacist killer attacks communities they are called ‘mentally ill’ or ‘lonely’, not terrorists, even though their action is politically and socially motivated, aiming to bring harm, the definition of terrorism. A US study showed that between 2008-2012, 81% of terrorism suspects that were subjects of news reporting were Muslim, which was a far greater percentage of terrorist attacks in the US actually committed by Muslims. This is a harmful bias that incites violence against the Muslim community.

These prejudices and false media narratives led to the Finsbury park attack where Darren Osborne drove a van into a crowd of Muslim’s near a north London mosque. Osborne injured nine people and killed one. The judge of Osborne’s case said he was rapidly radicalised over the internet where he became exposed to racist and anti-Islamic ideology.

Ignorance and misunderstanding of Islam

The false media narratives fuel the ignorance people have towards Muslim culture, religion and beliefs. The majority of Muslims reject the Jihadist violence involved in terrorist attacks, they believe it is not justified by their religion.

ISIS follows a jihadist tradition, they are a militant Islamist group. They reject all innovation in the religion and aim to return to the early days of Islam. The group has been condemned by many Muslim leaders, explaining that their extremist ideas decay the earth and destroy human civilisation which is in no way a part of Islam, it is an enemy to Islam. Leaders have explained that their sacrifice without legitimate cause it not jihad at all, it is criminality.

An academic criminology paper called ‘ISIS is not Islam: epistemic injustice, everyday religion, and young Muslims narrative resistance’ by Sveinung Sandberg and Sarah Colvin does a great job at explaining the harm prejudice has done to Muslim communities as well as correcting ignorant mainstream beliefs about Islam. They aim to debunk dominant western narratives that construct young Muslims as easily radicalised and potential violent extremists. They undertook a study that addresses prejudices and biases towards Muslims and Islam. Young Muslim participants were interviewed, they openly spoke out against martyrdom and terrorist action, saying it goes completely against Islam. They referred to terrorists as anti-Islamist, wrong and satanic. One participant stated that “It is not only the jihadists who are acting wrongly but also a mainstream media that actively furthers epistemic injustice by spreading the jihadi misrepresentation of what Islam says.” Participants wanted a voice to present another image of Islam than the one they faced daily in the mainstream media. The mainstream media fuels this false idea of Muslim and we urgently need to remove the narrative and present this religion for what it really is.

I urge you to read the paper to learn about Islam from young Muslim accounts and to find out more about the danger false narratives can have on Muslim communities. To read this paper click here and download the PDF.

Concluding thoughts

Far-right extremists and white supremacist groups are the largest and most rapidly growing risk to society. They incite hate against innocent lives and they threaten the very foundation of a multicultural world. They bring harm to the Muslim community with their abhorrent islamophobia. But not only do these groups incite the violence, the media and political leaders spread false narratives of what terrorism really looks like in society. The truth is right here in what I have said today, domestic terrorism and far-right extremist groups are a radicalised and growing threat to the western world. Our political leaders cannot turn a blind eye to their hateful ideologies.

The Wonders of Self-care

In honour of world mental health day being today, I wanted to share a post all about self-care and the positive benefits it can have towards our outlook on life, as well as the way we view ourselves. I encourage everyone, every now and then, to take a mental health day, recharge your batteries, and incorporate your own form of self-care and self-reflection into your lives on a regular basis. It can realign your perspective and allow you to start fresh and get back to whatever keeps you busy each day with better focus and a clearer mind. Self-care is about slowing down and enjoying the silence for a moment. We are all constantly focused on everything in our lives rushing by and occupying us. Instead we should take some time to reflect and have a mental check in with ourselves about how we are really feeling.

Enjoying quality time alone is unbelievably important. Finding the perfect balance between socialisation and quality alone time is key to a healthy and happy life. It’s hugely important to take time to yourself to recharge your batteries and reflect on your life. We all need to feel comfortable and calm in our own company, focused on ourselves, not preoccupied a million miles away thinking about everything stressing us out this week. Self care is about investing in yourself, it is no way selfish because it lets you excel better in your relationships and life. You have to invest in yourself before you can invest in others.

Finding the right balance of self-care is very important. You should in no way isolate yourself from your loved ones or use ‘self-care’ as a means of distraction or procrastination in getting something done that needs to be done. However, if you’re feeling burnt out and lacking in energy to fulfil a task, if you’re overthinking or anxious about small things that wouldn’t normally irritate you, then taking some time to yourself is an important remedy.

Self-reflection

Whilst self-reflection isn’t technically part of self-care, I think the two come hand in hand. Taking time to look back on the week, the highs and lows and how they made you feel, can allow you to better understand yourself. This can simply be done by just sitting with yourself and thinking about it, or a more popular version, journaling. Having this form of self-reflection can allow you to keep track of your thoughts.

I think these moments alone are so important because it allows you to understand yourself, what you like and what you don’t like. If you’re reflecting on your week you can ask yourself why a certain scenario that played out frustrated you, or why something made you stressed or anxious. Moments of reflection really let us look inside ourselves to understand our behaviours and emotions.

Feeling comfortable in your own skin and in your own company is a form of self-love and self-acceptance. When you slow down and just sit with yourself you learn things about yourself that you potentially hadn’t noticed before, sometimes comforting or uncomforting things, but you do learn. During the pandemic I realised how much of a workaholic and perfectionist I really am. Although I already knew I was this way, having so much time alone allowed me to understand why I behaved the way I did and how to control those emotions. As a person I have to fit in time for my own forms of self-care for my mental sanity and to prevent burn out. Sometimes self-reflection can feel like a reality check and a wake up call to who you really are. It can shake you out of a rut you are in and wake you up.

I’m not really someone that knows a lot about the law of attraction and manifestations, but self-care or self-reflection is similar because of it’s consistency. Self-reflection is very important for your mental health and outlook on life, it can give you a lot of clarity and help to change up your mindset when you’re feeling low or overwhelmed for whatever reason. It’s like a reset period. I like to use self-care time for affirming behaviour and readjusting my sense of direction, such as setting out monthly goals or focusing on what I achieved in the past week and how that outweighs whatever may have gone wrong. It is similar to manifesting and changing up your mindset because you are taking time to reflect and push yourself in the right direction towards what you want to improve in your life and achieve. Taking time for yourself is one of the most important steps in that process.

Another reason why taking the time to sit with yourself and self-reflect is so important is because a lot of the thoughts we have are sub-conscious, we don’t always realise we are having them and they become part of our nature. Overtime, if we continue to have sub-conscious thoughts revolving around stress, anxiety or lowness, it can build into something much worse. Our minds are powerful; our thoughts have the ability to affect our emotional lives. When we have an irrational or low thought, that has a huge impact on our emotions, even when that thought is falsely interpreted from our reality, it will still have a huge impact on our self-worth and emotions. When we self-reflect, we take the time to actively question these thoughts and stop our mind from taking control.

Self-care is a habit

Turning self-care into a consistent habit is very important in seeing it’s benefits. We have to make it a regular occurrence to take time to ourselves, to self-reflect and to recharge our batteries. It doesn’t always have to be the same activity, but making self-care a part of your routine is revitalising. Keeping up with it means you are always looking out for yourself and showing yourself love and respect.

Self-care really can be anything, it’s completely subjective, but it should be slotted into your week, even your days. For some people self-care is their skincare routine, others it’s watching TV or playing a game, even tidying your room. Something where it’s just you and you are giving undivided attention to yourself.

My own personal self-care really does fluctuate. I find the gym very therapeutic and destressing. Endorphins and moving your body is unbelievably good for your mental health and makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something. However, I also cherish unwinding at the end of the day slowly, either reading or slowly going through my skincare routine, throwing in a face mask. Whatever allows you to relax and focus on yourself…do that.

Finding happiness in the simple moments

I think that taking time alone to breathe and relax, maybe on a walk or just sitting in a spot you find comfortable, can allow you, even for a second, to really feel content and grateful. It’s a difficult feeling to explain, but it is feels almost like a glow. You could get this feeling maybe looking out at a view after a walk, the fresh air in the morning, the comfort of your own home, looking at old pictures. Anything that sparks gratitude and peace.

Holding onto those moments is important because they can keep you going and motivated. I think it’s encouraging to know that there is a potential for peace in your life. No matter what you’re going through, those split seconds can show you that it’s there. It doesn’t mean that things are great right now, or that things will be better in a week. But those simple moments where you feel at peace and grateful for something, potentially during your self-care, is something to hold onto and to cherish. They ground you and they keep you sane.

Moments like these are so important because it allows us to take control of our thoughts. When you are sat alone in silence and that feeling of happiness comes rushing in, even for a second, it shows that happiness or peace is out there for you still, no matter what you are going through. Negative feelings often have the ability to take a strong hold in our mind, removing and displacing them can become a hefty task. A lot of the time repetitive thought patterns keep us feeling low or anxious. Replacing the negative repetitive thoughts can be done in moments of silence. It gives us the time and space we need to turn away from those thoughts, breathe and refocus ourselves and our mindset. Constantly and actively choosing to change your mindset and not let the thoughts consume you. Reminding yourself of something to be grateful for, like those simple moments, can keep you going.

A disclaimer regarding mental illness

Although self-care and self-help techniques are helpful in keeping your mind clear and taking time to relax. It is not a complete remedy to mental illness, it may help you in your bad days, but if your bad days consistently continue you should seek mental health support. It doesn’t have to be taboo and there really is nothing wrong with asking for support when you need it. Reaching out to a loved one or looking for therapies and counselling is normal and should be done more. Don’t undervalue your feelings or disregard them just because they don’t feel as big as other peoples problems because that’s how problems worsen.

It can be frustrating when a family member or friend tells you to just take some time to relax, meditate or write everything down when you are in the midst of feeling low. The same techniques don’t work for everyone and you have to find what works for you. It can be particularly hard to self-reflect productively when you have allowed your anxious, irrational, or negative thoughts to consume you because in moments of self-reflection you can find yourself spiralling. Sometimes you can’t help your self and you need more support, which is why therapy or counselling is a great option, especially cognitive behaviour therapies (CBT), which focuses on displacing those irrational or negative feelings. So, if you are feeling low or anxious and taking time to reflect and focus on yourself is not helping to relieve any burdens, then do reach out for more support. Also remember that your bad days do not equal to a bad life. This is a feeling that you will get through.

Mental health support links

  1. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/
  2. https://www.samaritans.org/
  3. https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/?WT.tsrc=Search&WT.mc_id=Brand&gclid=Cj0KCQjwt4X8BRCPARIsABmcnOr94uOrYxgOCHVkR4eYhAB0A0i08VNKgL_xqb4JIh5odFRGdpBHbUIaAtCqEALw_wcB
  4. https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
  5. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/where-to-start/

Class division, social immobility, and capitalism in ‘Parasite’

Today I’m going to be analysing the Oscar award winning film, ‘Parasite’. This film was easily one of, if not my favourite film of 2019. It’s ability to tell a story of such harsh realities in a inquisitive yet humorous way was remarkable. Parasite sparks endless questions and debates about the social order and class system we live in, bringing awareness to the effects capitalism and social immobility can have on our everyday lives. It is no wonder that Parasite became a hit globally because of it’s representation of societal themes that are so prevalent and consistent globally.

In February 2020 Parasite became the first non-English film to win best picture at the Oscars, showing how much this film resonated with people across the world. I’ll be giving a summary of the film, so spoilers are definitely ahead! I’ll then analyse different parts of the film and the questions they raise about our social and economic systems.

This is definitely a longer article today but hopefully a really interesting read! I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope you enjoy!

Summarising Parasite

Parasite is a South Korean dark comedy thriller directed and co-written by Bong Joon-ho. It tells the story of the poor, working class Kim family who live in a deprived slum, desperate for work so that they can continue to survive. They infiltrate the wealthy Park’s home fulfilling the duties of tutor, art therapist, driver, and housekeeper. The Kim’s rely on manipulation and cunning deception to obtain jobs within the Park’s household. They act unrelated, lying about their experience and qualifications, convincing the rather gullible Mrs Park, into hiring them. The film deals with issues surrounding class division, wealth inequality and the effects of capitalism on our daily lives.

As the film progresses the Kim family discover the ex-housekeeper has hidden her husband in the basement of the Park’s house, an area of the house the Park’s are unaware of. It appears the ex-housekeeper and her husband are desperate in similar ways to the Kim’s. Moon-gwang, the ex-housekeeper, discovers the Kim’s secret, that they are a family, and threatens to unveil this to the Parks if they expose her husband living beneath the house. The film reaches a turning point when a huge storm hits and the Park’s are returning to their home after a failed camping trip. The Kim’s rush to tidy the home and deal with Moon-gwang and her husband. From this point class division tensions build to a climactic end at Da-song’s birthday party, the son of the Park family. The ex-housekeepers husband escapes the basement, bludgeons Ki-woo, the son of the Kim family, with his symbolic scholars rock and runs into the party, stabbing Ki-jung, the daughter of the Kim family, which leads to her death. Chung-sook, the mother of the Kim family, stabs the ex-housekeeper’s husband for killing her daughter. In a surge of anger for being disrespected and dismissed by Mr Park for so long because of his level of class, Ki-taek, father of the Kim family, stabs Mr Park and fleas to the basement where he remains, to the viewers, for the foreseeable future.

The ending of Parasite is filled with despair as Ki-woo aspires to allow his father to climb the stairs, metaphorically and physically, out of the basement he is trapped in, once he saves the money to buy the house the Park’s have now moved out of. The director explained that Ki-woo would never be able to achieve this aspiration because of the society we live in holding him back, revealing that it would take Ki-woo 564 years to afford the Park’s house. Demonstrating that our aspirations to sore up the social and economic ladder are saturated in false hope and impossibility.

Parasite is a brutally honest representation of the lives we lead within the capitalistic system. Bong fears that this social and economic order will not change for generations, leaving many stuck in a system working directly against them, no matter their aspiration and ability. I will be exploring some of these harsh realities resembled in Parasite in more detail today, playing close attention to how they resemble cultural hegemony, ignorance of the middle class, class division and the lack of social mobility.

Analysing Parasite

The setting: use of stairs

The film follows two families, both leading very different lives. We see the Park family
living in a wealthy mansion on top of a hill, with large windows and modern
amenities. While the Kim family live in a tiny semi-basement, riddled with
stink bugs.

The Park’ house, Bong Joon Ho actually designed and had the houses and sets built from scratch because he had a direct vision in mind.
The interior of the Park house, notice the different stairs and elevations.

The film heavily relies on setting to depict the different levels of class hierarchy, it
is as if, the less sunlight you have access to and the lower down your home is,
the more impoverish you are. The Park family literally live higher up, on top
of a hill. There are stairs leading up to the entrance of their home and can be found around the property showing different elevations. Meanwhile, the Kim’s live within a semi-basement, with small access to light. The Kim’s make reference a lot throughout the film
about how nice the light and sunshine is at the Park’s house, with their big
floor to ceiling windows.

The film uses stairs to resemble different class divisions, as if you must climb the
stairs much as you would climb an economic ladder. We see this at the Park’s
household with its assent up to the top of their home. This visually shows that
they are of a higher social class to the Kim’s who live almost below ground.

The outside of the Kim’s semi-basement. Down the stairs to their home.
Bathroom of the Kim’s home.

Perhaps one of the saddest scenes in the film is where we see Ki-taek and his children descending down the many stairs in the storm from the Park’s house to their home, which
they discover to be flooded. This huge descent down visualises the different
class divides, with the rich living at the top protected from the harsh realities
of the outside world, whilst the poor live almost below ground.

The stairs from the scene where the Kim’s descend back home during the storm.

Capitalistic consumers and the ignorance of the middle class

A significant theme demonstrated in Parasite is the influence capitalism has had on the way we behave. Mr and Mrs Park represent capitalistic consumers of the middle class. As capitalistic consumers, like many of us, they do not need to care about those below them, nor do they want too, because not caring and remaining ignorant gives them peace and protection. Throughout the film Mr Park talks about drawing a professional line between him and his workers. However, this line stretches further than professionalism. Mr Park literally wants to live within his own bubble, out of sight and out of mind from the poverty that does actually surround him and his family. The Park’s are physically distanced up on a hill away from the slums and impoverished lives, but it is still very much there.

Slums in Mumbai, visualises the class divisions and ability to look away from poverty even when it is right there.

Mr and Mrs Park display ignorance by reacting to the smell of Ki-taek, this reaction becomes more and more exaggerated as the film goes on. Mr and Mrs Park refer to the smell as one you would find on a subway, a place they have not been in years, therefore leading us to question how they would know what a subway smells like. They connect the idea of public transport with poorer people, creating a social construct of what a poor person should smell like. Not only is this heavily disrespectful to Ki-taek, it is also ignorant of them. They are fortunate enough to live a luxurious lifestyle yet turn a blind eye to the poverty that lives around them, instead being ignorant and disrespectful.

The Park’s present themselves as kind-hearted people but they are the same as any capitalistic consumer, unaware of the struggles spent below them to afford their lifestyle, a struggle spent by the poor within the capitalistic system. It is easier to look away when you distance yourself from the social and economic issues of the world. The smell of Ki-taek and the rest of the Kim family is a constant reminder to the Park’s that poverty is not far away from them, causing them to draw a line between themselves and the poorer of society, purely for peace of mind in their own lives.

As capitalistic consumers, the Park’s have expectations of how things should be there for them immediately, an example of this is when Mrs Park rings Chung-sook demanding there be Ram-don ready for her when she gets home in 8 minutes. The Park’s expect service from the Kim’s immediately, much like any capitalistic consumer, desiring things as quickly as possible, giving no thought to how that effects a labourer below trying to make that happen. The night after the storm, after the Kim’s house is flooded with sewage water and they have to evacuate to a gym, Mrs Park, ignorant to the fact that the storm did more harm than ruin her son’s camping trip, demands Ki-taek assist her with shopping for her garden party, she also assumes Ki-jung will be available short notice, and both Mr and Mrs Park order Chung-sook to throw together food and lay out furniture for the party rapidly.

The Kim’s home after the flood.

These assumptions from the Park’s, that even after a mass flood the Kim’s will be readily available to work, shows their ignorance that climate and world crisis’ have differing effects on different classes. Climate crisis has unequal repercussions on the rich and the poor. This is something Bong Joon Ho wanted to resemble in this film. For the Park’s, their camping trip is cancelled, but for the Kim’s their whole home is flooded and destroyed with sewage water, leaving their possessions ruined. The next day, when Ki-taek is driving Mrs Park she not only again makes reference to the smell of Ki-taek, she also on the phone talks about what a blessing the storm was because it has cleared out the air pollution and now the skies are blue for her garden party, meanwhile Ki-taek had to spend the night in a gym on the floor because his home was destroyed. Mrs Park disregards the amount of people who lost their homes in the mass floods, instead seeing the storm as a blessing in disguise. The Kim’s are hit with real tragedy whilst the Park’s are merely inconvenienced and quickly move on.

Another example of capitalistic consumer expectations is when Mr Park walks up the stairs in his home, he assumes the lights are on a sensor but actually Moon-gwang’s husband living in the basement below, hit’s a button for the light every time Mr Park walks up and down the stairs. This is meant to resemble that the luxuries Mr Park enjoys are often there due to someone’s hard labour beneath him. Mr Park chooses to be ignorant or unaware of this labour, relishing in the luxury. This choice to ignore is something many do as capitalistic consumers, feeding into fast fashion and next day delivery services, blissfully unaware of the impact that has on the labourer, potentially working in poor conditions.

The Park’s are ignorant to the poverty and socio-economic issues around them because they can afford to be. A further example of this ignorance is Da-song’s enjoyment of Native American culture, to the Park’s it is just a decoration and a fun activity, when in reality Native Americans have an oppressed and complicated history. This is not important to the Park’s however, as they allow their child to dress in Native American clothing and refer to Native Americans in incorrect and sloppy language. The main point of this is that the Park’s can afford to not care because they are not directly affected by any of these issues. They take what they want and stay on the other side of the line, turning away from any sort of complicated world issues.

These examples show that everyone on the other side of the line means nothing to the Park’s, they are merely a means to an end. The Park’s take dignity and time from their labourers, giving a tiny fraction of what they have back. Capitalism at it’s finest.

Cultural hegemony and social immobility

Late capitalism and divisions between the rich and poor exist so widely in our world because of cultural hegemony. This favours the ruling class or the rich because they are seen as the norm that we should all aspire to be. Anyone who falls outside the ruling/rich class is told to work towards that level of luxury. This is shown in the film when the Kim’s change their clothes and their dispositions in an attempt to fit in with the Park’s. They aspire to become them economically and socially, to liberate their lives through wealth. The poor aspire to be the rich, much like how the Kim’s wish to have the lives of the Park’s.

Within cultural hegemony the rich can create an illusion of social mobility within society. Whilst it is largely impossible for the Kim’s to reach a similar level of economic status as the Park’s, they are told by society that with a little bit of hard work they too could have economic freedom. This means that the rich stay rich feeding off the working classes labour, whilst the poor live under the illusion that they can achieve that wealth one day if they just keep working hard. This is the environment that capitalism thrives in because it means labourer’s keep working as hard as they can, for the rich, whilst the rich give back a tiny fraction of what they actually own for this service, trapping those in lower classes.

In Parasite this hope to reach economic freedom is shown the most in Ki-woo, the symbol of his hope comes from the scholar’s rock he is gifted by his friend, the rock is told to bring wealth to a family. As the film goes on, we see Ki-woo literally clinging to the rock hoping to feel its benefits. At the end of the film when Ki-woo and his mother are right back where they started, he has still not lost hope. As the film ends Ki-woo writes the letter to his father promising he will save the money to buy the Park’s house, saying that his father will be able to simply walk up the stairs and be free.

Whilst this is an admirable promise to his father, it is quite the bleak ending that Ki-woo will likely not fulfil this promise. As stated earlier, the director, Bong Joon Ho, explains that it would likely take around 564 years for Ki-woo to save that money, he will remain trapped in his social class working hard laboured time for low wages, stuck in his social and economic position, unable to grow from it.

Social mobility is stalled in this society, the capitalistic order is unforgiving and inescapable for the majority. This way of life is too normalised because of people like the Park’s who can live blissfully unaware feeding off the backs of the poor, keeping them below the line, stunting any form of social or economic progression for those of a lower class. The lower classes work as hard as they can, but it never seems enough to reach the level of the rich because social mobility becomes an illusion.

Disunity of the working class

When the Kim’s infiltrate the Park’s household, in order to replace the current housekeeper with Chung-sook, they come up with an elaborate plan involving a peach, a selfie, some hot sauce and a few lies here and there to influence Mrs Park into firing Moon-gwang. This plan succeeds but, Moon-gwang comes back to the Park’s house which then leads to the Kim’s discovering that Moon-gwang has been hiding her husband in the secret basement. Both of these families are poor, yet they fail to unite and help eachother. Instead they end up fighting in order to keep their secrets from the Park’s.

This lack of solidarity among the working class ends up supporting people like the Park’s even more. The wealthy live within their luxury, way beyond their means. Whilst the poor fight amongst themselves with what little they have. When Chung-sook speaks to Moon-gwang she explains that her family is not needy, the Kim’s in their semi-basement have that slightly higher level of hope in comparison to Moon-gwang and her husband. However, this also fills the Kim’s with fear that there is potential to fall lower than they currently are so they do everything than can to defend themselves.

Class division and tensions reach breaking point

The disrespect that the Kim’s end up feeling from the Park’s ends up intensifying as the film goes on. A growing resentment is created after the storm as the Kim’s now seem discontented fulfilling task they had originally enjoyed. These strained tensions explode at the garden party.

Ki-taek’s anger seems to come from his acknowledgment of inescapable poverty; he has lost hope. The smell becomes a symbol of that feeling. In a previous scene Ki-jung mentions that the smell will not leave them until they leave the basement. This smell reminds Ki-taek of his place within the system and he can no longer deal with these reminders from Mr Park of where his place is within society. As Ki-jung is stabbed and lies on the floor bleeding out, Mr Park demands that Ki-taek leaves Ki-jung to die and drives Da-song to the hospital after he faints due to the hysteria of the events unfolding. Whilst Da-song is Mr Park’s son, this scene shows how much Ki-jung really is merely a commodity to the Park’s. She is literally dying on the floor, but Mr Park would rather everyone focus their assistance on his son who has fainted. This event further enforces Ki-taek’s feelings of disrespect from Mr Park and he stabs him.

The Kim’s are intuitive, smart and resourceful. They infiltrate the Park’s house strategically. Ki-Jung appears to be one of the smartest in the family and shown to be the most accepted by the Park’s with Mrs Park wanting her to be at Da-Song’s birthday party to give him his cake. The Kim’s also mention that Ki-Jung fits in the most in the wealthy environment. Ki-jung was the member of the Kim family with the potential to scale the economic and social ladder. This is why her death is so significant because it symbolises that no matter how much you work, no matter the intuition and vigour you have, society says that you don’t get to move. Social mobility has trapped her, even though she had the potential to go far.

Who is the parasite?

The villain of this film is not properly defined because really, there is no villain. Both the poor and the rich are displayed in ways where we see them as real people, they have their highs and lows but ultimately, they act as humans, and they are not vilified for that.

We see the Kim’s who have dishonestly and deceitfully entered the Park’s home by lying about their qualifications and experiences, pretending that they all are loosely acquainted when in reality they are a family. However, they did this because they needed work. This family are not depicted as a lazy poor family. They are willing to work hard in whatever way to get by. We end up feeling sorry for the family because they very system they live in just will not give them a break. After forging the fake university certificate, Ki-woo says that it is only temporary and that he wishes to go to university one day to obtain a real one. The Kim’s are not bad people, they are doing what they can to survive in a system that constantly pushes them down.

As for the Park’s they are clearly a wealthy family heavily benefiting from the capitalistic system. They can feed off the labour of the working class to afford their luxurious lifestyle. They appear as kind-hearted but they are largely ignorant. However, particularly in Mrs Park, we can feel sorry for her being so manipulated by the Kim’s and how gullible she appears to be, she is after all just trying to do the best thing for her family.

Bong Joon-Ho explained in a video that the name for the film, ‘Parasite’, was decided because the Kim family slowly infiltrate the wealthy Park’s house, much like a parasite. However, this film is riddled with symbolism and many have argued that the term parasite can be flexibly applied to all the characters within this film. Including Moon-gwang and her husband in the basement. It is largely up to interpretation.

Conclusion

Parasite is a very interesting film riddled with deep meanings connected to our social and economic systems. It gives us a lot to think about, including what needs to change in society. Perhaps the darkest part of this film is that it is a depiction of our very lives. The comparisons of class we see between the Kim’s and the Park’s shows how deep class divides are becoming and how social mobility is becoming impossible within a capitalistic system. It is also insightful to see that as capitalistic consumers, we often behave and live in ignorance whilst the rest of the world suffers, and that needs to change. Parasite raises many questions and it’s a thoroughly symbolic film of the very world we all live in.

This film is a comedy without clowns, a tragedy without villains, all leading to a violent tangle and a headlong plunge down the stairs.

Bong Joon-Ho

Issues you should be talking about

First of all, I would like to apologise for not posting in a month! I went away for a couple of weeks and then struggled to get back into the rhythm of writing, but I am back now and ready to continue posting and putting out as much content as I can! If you are returning to my website, thank you so much for coming back and I can’t wait to keep sharing information and thoughts with you all again!

For today’s post I wanted to bring attention to some world events that I think are hugely important and that more people should be aware of. To disclaim there are a huge amount of social, environmental, political and economic issues in the world, sadly too many to count. To list them all in this article would be overwhelming. I’m going to shed some light on 3 today that I have recently heard about and feel others should look into more themselves. I encourage you to look into other ongoing global issues that threaten people’s human rights and identities other than these 3 as well. People’s voices need to be heard and we need to support them.

UK Transgender Rights at risk

The first issue I want to bring to light is the UK government’s plans to stop transgender people from being allowed to legally self-identify. This is an extremely recent issue and something I just learnt about yesterday. This is a huge attack on trans rights and a step in the opposite direction.

Plans were being made to reform the Gender Recognition Act from 2004 to make it easier for trans people to legally change their gender in the UK. These plans would introduce self-identification which would make the legal process of changing your gender much shorter. During a consultation to reform the current gender recognition act they suggested removing a Gender Recognition Panel which consists of two medical professionals certifying a transition. This process can feel overly medical and demeaning. Instead the trans person would have the ability to legally change their gender by making a sworn statutory declaration, removing the long-winded medical process. 70% of people supported this reform. However, it seems the government are going to scrap the plans for the reform this week.

This is a huge setback in the progress of trans rights within the UK and hugely disappointing. Unfortunately, our current conservative government administration simply do not deem trans rights as important as other governmental issues, this comes at a surprise to no one. It is hugely demeaning to trans people that they would have to prove to a medical professional that they are worthy of a transition or change in self-identification. We should be moving forwards, not backwards. This is simply not right. The government has been dragging their feet on this issue for far too long. If you wish to support the transgender and non-binary community and stop this reversal of the governments promise to reform the Gender Recognition Act, please do sign this petition: https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/327108

For more information and how to help: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/gender-recognition-act-gra-take-action-trans-equality

The US Supreme Court and the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg

After the passing of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a truly remarkable women who fought for gender equality and women’s rights, a seat has opened within the supreme court. Ruth’s dying wish was for her seat to not be filled until after the next president is elected. However, Mitch McConnell, the Senate Majority Leader, announced that they would be filling the seat before the end of President Trump’s term. The hypocrisy of McConnell’s statement is huge because in Obama’s administration, after the passing of Justice Antonin Scalia, he stated that they should not fill the vacancy until they had a new president, even though Obama still had 11 months in office left. Currently Trump has just over a month left, yet McConnell believes they should replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg before the next election. This is hugely controversial of McConnell, double standards should be applied and replacing Supreme Ginsburg is not a process that should be rushed.

Replacements in the supreme court can take a long time. However, Trump announced that he would be nominating a replacement by the end of this week. He appears in a rush for the supreme court to ratify it before the election date. Democrats have argued that Trump is pursuing without delay in order to invalidate the affordable healthcare act before the end of his term. Another huge issue within the US right now that would put countless more lives at risk during a global pandemic.

Supreme Court seats are hugely influential positions. Ruth Bader Ginsburg accomplished some remarkable reforms including the right for women to sign a mortgage without a man, the right for a woman to have a bank account without a male co-signer, the right to a job without being discriminated based on gender and the right for women to work whilst being pregnant and having children. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has paved the way in women’s rights and gender equality and became a true feminist and equality icon. The work she achieved will live on throughout generations.

Photo captured by Getty Images outside McConnell’s home protesting against the rapid replacement of RBG.

Having a supreme court replacement that wishes to see change as much as Ruth did is hugely important. Discrimination and oppression is rampant within the US (as well as globally). The ongoing black lives matter movement has shown that systemic change needs to be made and replacing RBG with someone who will strive for that change is pivotal for the future of the US. Rushing to fill the seat before the election is not right.

Uighur Muslim Re-education Camps in Xinyang, China

An estimated 1 million Uighur Muslims are detained in so called ‘re-education camps’, where they are being brainwashed and stripped of their religious and ethnic identity and replaced with loyalty to the Chinese Communist Party. Hundreds of these camps have been built in the past 3 years throughout Western China within the Xinyang province. They are completely stripping Uighur Muslims of their religion, culture and language. This is a form of torture and brainwashing yet China is portraying it as rehabilitation and education when this is not the case.

Some accounts of the horrific forms of ‘re-education’ Uighur Muslims must undergo are listed below:

  • Forced to drink alcohol and eat pork, acting against their religion.
  • Uyghur women are forced to marry a Chinese man and sleep with him in their bed.
  • China is forcing birth control onto Muslim women to prevent the Muslim population from growing, in even more extreme cases abortions and sterilisations are taking place.
  • Hijabs are being removed, and those in camps are forced to wear sacks and some are shackled.
  • People are living in unsanitary and crowded conditions, their human rights have been completely stripped away. On top of this the coronavirus pandemic has catalysed the unsanitary conditions with many prisoners falling ill.
  • They are shocked and disciplined to support the Chinese Communist Party as if they cannot survive without it, it is the only way. They are told their religion is not right.

BBC Panorama discovered orders sent to the re-education camps: ‘no one escapes, increase discipline and punishment, encourage students to truly transform, promote confession and repentance, make remedial mandarin studies most important.’

This is a hugely horrific and inhumane event, it is a genocide and it had to be stopped. This is a heart-breaking issue that more people need to be talking about and raising awareness on. World leaders are not stepping up in the ways that they should be and action needs to be taken. Trump actually supported the decision to lock up Uighur Muslims and the UK Chinese ambassador claimed it was fake news.

Below are some links to petitions and also the Uyghur Human Rights Project that shares information on this topic in more detail than I have today, as well as Amnesty.

Final Thoughts

For a lot of these issues, if not all of these issues, a person of privilege is not directly affected. In some cases people believe that because they are not directly affected they do not have to care or support change. Just because something doesn’t directly affect you, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care or educate yourself on the topic. It certainly doesn’t mean you should sit in ignorance and silence just because you can.

Millions of people in this world are hurting and have been marginalised because of their identity, whether that be religion, race or sexuality. It is a privilege to not be oppressed and marginalised and we should use that privilege to learn about what’s going on in the world and do what we can to speak out against oppression and injustice. It’s your social responsibility as a decent human being. I myself am a white cis woman, this gives me a level of privilege and ability to speak out against the injustices in society instead of just standing by. It is the right and decent thing to do, we are talking bare minimum, do not praise yourself for it, just be a good human.

I hope you learnt something new about a current global issue and that you will continue to research other global issues that I haven’t mentioned today. I also hope I did these topics justice today by talking about them as best as I could. I may make this a regular post to bring attention to important world issues because I think it’s hugely essential that we stay up to date and do our best to support those who are hurting in any way we can and spread their voices.

Confessions of a perfectionist

Today I’m going to talk about something that I continually struggle with, and that is being a perfectionist. I feel like when people talk about perfectionism it’s that weakness that is actually a strength, but in reality if you really are a perfectionist then you know it is not a trait you actually want. Perfectionism does more harm than good when it cannot be controlled. I wanted to talk about my own personal experiences with perfectionism today, as well as shedding more light on the area and the effects it can have.

Perfectionism is defined as “the need to be or appear to be perfect, or even to believe that it’s possible to achieve perfection.” It is an unhealthy obsession to constantly be better than the best version of yourself. It is impossibly unattainable. A perfectionist is extremely critical of oneself, they strive only for a perfect and flawless outcome. When this outcome isn’t met it leads to feelings of failure and self-doubt which often spiral into mental health issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, OCD, phobias, eating disorders, substance abuse and depression.

Perfectionism pushes you to be more than you can actually be, and this isn’t some pinterest quote about being your best self and just putting in that extra work, this is a real condition about never being good enough for yourself. No matter how smart, generous or stunning you may already be. No matter what you do or achieve it is simply never enough.

Being a human means that we often make mistakes in our life, therefore being flawlessly perfect is an unachievable and unhealthy expectation. A healthy approach to self-development is understanding there will be mistakes along the way because this is how we learn. However, when you are a perfectionist you won’t even attempt an activity in some cases unless you can be sure it will go flawlessly. This apprehension is grounded in a fear of failure which can lead to procrastination, anxiety, and poor time-management.

I myself, particularly in my studies, have been a perfectionist and it took me a long time to realise not everything you are going to produce is going to be perfect. This didn’t sit right with me for a while. I am guilty of spending many hours working on something for too long all in the effort to make it ‘perfect’. This behaviour meant I wasn’t balancing my time well and was sabotaging myself in other areas of my life that I should have been paying more attention too. My own perfection being more academically focused meant that whatever grade I would get, it would always need to be higher next time. The expectation just keeps…getting…HIGHER. This is obviously not a healthy way to approach a situation because when you achieve something you should congratulate yourself, not carry on increasing your goal because one day you won’t reach the expectation you set for yourself, and it will break you (trust me I know). This is when people tend to spiral into mental health issues because they realise that their expectations are unattainable and this begins to hold them back and create fear. I ended up developing an unhealthy thinking pattern that determined my own worth on my academic success and ability which was ultimately very wrong. Your happiness and worth should never be determined by the extent of your achievement and success.

Burnout happens when you avoid being human for too long.

Personally, I believed that in order for me to achieve I had to be on my grind 24/7 because from my observations that is how people that succeeded behaved. Nobody is actually like that because that leads to burnout and it is not a productive way to work. No one can sustain that amount of hard work for long periods, it’s about balance. Productivity and success is not about working flat out 100% of the time, it’s about taking breaks, recharging and coming back stronger. However, at the time I felt that if I wasn’t working, if I was taking a break, then I didn’t deserve that high grade. That is obviously untrue but that is how perfectionism works. If you are anything less than your absolute best then you are not good enough or worth enough. I had to learn what hard work and productivity really looked like. You will not always be 100% everyday, you have to learn when you need to call it quits and take a break. I would love to know how many hours I have wasted just staring at a uni essay on my laptop, doing absolutely nothing, but telling myself that I can’t stop because I don’t ‘deserve’ a break, even though I’d probably already been sat there for 9 hours.

I believe that a lot of people are becoming perfectionists because of societal influences, social media in particular. When you look online it doesn’t take long for you to find someone who appears like they have their whole life together, no issues, no struggles, just good vibes. Social media has created this toxic need to be perfect, successful and rich before you’re even 21. Social media is a facade, it’s people wanting to show the best highlights of their life, in some cases it is even fake. I’ve spoken to countless people who are insecure about their relationships, academic ability, style, appearance or financial stability, all because there are hundreds of people online presenting themselves as if they are perfect and that everything is going their way. After a while this can make a person deeply insecure because when they look at their own life they see normality, instead of perfection. We compare our whole life consisting of highs and lows to someones highlights. First of all that is unrealistic and second of all comparison is a killer and it’s only going to make you more insecure. Nobody has it all together all the time but society can make us think that we need to be that way, and when we aren’t we feel like we have failed. This is simply not true.

Taking a step back from social media and generally using it less will only lead to positive benefits in your life and how you view yourself. Gaining a better perspective and knowing that not everyone’s life is that perfect is hugely important for anyone’s mental health. It is important to focus on what you are doing and achieving than comparing yourself to everyone’s perfect presentations of themselves online. You shouldn’t base your own worth on what somebody else is doing. Unplug and take a detox from social media.

Making mistakes and being flawed is how humans work. I was at war with myself for a long time for not being good enough, when actually I was achieving really good grades but my constant desire to be better held me back. At the end of the day you can achieve great things and still be left feeling like you need more and more, but more will not be enough if you can’t be content within yourself and appreciate the journey you are on, flaws and all. We cannot be perfect and that is okay. What we can be is happy with who we are and what we have, whilst being committed to growth and progress in a healthy way, knowing that there will be mistakes along the way and that makes us a human being, not a failure.

Regarding overcoming my own personal perfectionism, I am definitely still on that journey. However, I have learnt that keeping up the habit of trying to knock away those negative thoughts and doubts in your head is the most crucial step to take. It is way easier said than done and is a constant journey, but noticing that thought pattern you have and consciously deciding to turn away from it instead of feeding into it is hugely important. In order to do that you have to accept yourself, congratulate yourself for the small achievements, (they are still amazing achievements!) and most importantly look after yourself. Take breaks, do things that make you feel good, see your friends, these are all important factors in achieving success.

It is very easy to feel an unbearable pressure and expectation being a perfectionist. You can easily over work yourself and take on too much and ultimately this will lead to burnout. This makes it even harder to fight the negative thoughts in your head because you are mentally exhausted. Taking time for yourself is hugely important, this is something I would love to go into more detail on in another article focused on self care and bad mental health days. For now though, be kind to yourself and accept your journey for what it is. You’re doing way better than you think and you are good enough.

I hope you enjoyed today’s post! Please do continue to email your responses to me on the contact me page if you don’t feel comfortable commenting below, that is completely fine! I have some links below to useful resources surrounding today’s topic, but I also wanted to mention a book I have briefly started, ‘Love for Imperfect Things: How to Accept Yourself in a World Striving for Perfection’ by the Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim. I touched on various kinds of Buddhism and mindfulness during my time at university and found it incredibly fascinating. There is a lot we can learn when we step outside of our western mindsets. I haven’t read the whole book yet but it’s a unique approach to overcoming perfectionism and I thought it was worth a quick mention! I’ll be sure to review the book later when I have finished so look out for that!

Mental health support

If you feel your perfectionism is negatively impacting your mental health and sense of self then do reach out to an organisation that can help support you. Your feelings are completely normal and valid, you do not have to feel alone.

  1. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
  2. https://www.samaritans.org/
  3. https://www.mind.org.uk/
  4. https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/how-to-access-mental-health-services/

TED Talks on perfectionism

Here are some of my favourite TED Talks on perfectionism, all very varied, but insightful talks about peoples own personal struggles with perfectionism and how they started to fight and overcome their unattainable expectations.


Social psychologist Thomas Curran explores how the pressure to be perfect — in our social media feeds, in school, at work — is driving a rise in mental illness, especially among young people. Learn more about the causes of this phenomenon and how we can create a culture that celebrates the joys of imperfection.

Iskra Lawrence asserts that we all need to be taught how to look after ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally and encourages us to invest in ourselves right now. She gives examples of self-care techniques like the mirror challenge and the gratitude list that work for anyone, any age, anytime. If we learn self-care and practice self-care, then we can gift self-care to others.

The idea of embracing a perfectionist identity takes away our power to control the outcomes of our lives. We can take control of our personal power by understanding the detrimental belief of perfectionism and embracing the idea that we are naturally imperfectionist. The more we understand how perfection is unattainable, the less control it has over us.

Until recently, Da Yeon believed that being perfect in every aspect of her life, from family and friendship to academics, was not only possible but would also bring nothing but benefits to her and those around her. In this personal talk, Da Yeon shares a journey of self-realisation, discovering the roots of her perfectionism, its consequences, and a path toward a healthier future.