Show yourself love and respect…please!

Today’s post is going to be about my journey with mindfulness and intentional thinking. My last mindfulness post was really well received by you all so I wanted to do another one reflecting a bit more on my own mindfulness journey and why it is so important for the quality of your life!

If you haven’t seen my other mindfulness post yet check it out here.

I will first give a bit of background to my attitudes towards mindfulness, manifestation and the ideas of cultivating a positive mindset. I was never one to think it worked, in fact I used to think it was naïve to have a positive mindset because to me it just seemed unrealistic to be happy and positive 24/7. To be honest I do still believe this, the world can be unkind, positivity cannot constantly flow from you. You can’t feel positive all the time. The trials and tribulations of life show us all that. Someone telling you ‘look on the bright side of life’, is still something I think is patronising and way easier said than done. I think instead finding a balance between the two is important. It is okay if you are not being your best self everyday, people fall out of routine and that’s okay. However, developing a mindset where you can be intentional with your thoughts and emotionally agile in situations of distress or conflict, that’s what mindfulness is all about for me. It’s not necessarily about being happy but showing yourself the respect and love you deserve. Being mindful allows you to become resilient, strong, and aware of your emotions. You gain the ability to to deal with issues that arise and handle them calmly and appropriately.

I practice mindfulness in multiple ways as mentioned in my last post. I think meditation is extremely effective for achieving a calm and centred mindset. Each morning taking 10 minutes to deeply breathe and just focusing on that breathing can release tension and clear your mind so that you are ready for the day. As well as this, positive affirmations. They feel a little cheesy sometimes, but they don’t have to be. You decide what you tell yourself and how you want to speak to yourself. So, speaking positively about the day you’re going to have, the emotions you are going to feel, being intentional about where you focus your energy. This can be really helpful for steering your day and keeping you on track. Combined with this, being conscious of negative thoughts and doubts, acknowledging them but not feeding into them. Finally, for me journaling is so important. It helps you keep track of your emotions and also shows how far you’ve come in your journey. Sometimes we don’t notice our growth so having a journal that you can reflect on reinforces to you that you are growing. Emptying your thoughts onto paper can feel relieving, writing about what you are grateful for and how you want to improve in life, setting goals and saying you will achieve them. This is all part of intentional thinking. Being aware of what is going on inside your head and taking control.

Developing all these habits requires a lot of self-discipline. It’s an ongoing journey so don’t be hard on yourself if you skip a day or don’t stick to routine. Developing these activities to be habits is vital to noticing their impact but don’t be strict, show yourself compassion in your own personal journey.

The one I find the hardest is talking to myself positively, but intentionally showing myself love has allowed me to jump start my way of thinking and outlook on life. Developing this frame of mind is about saying no to the negative thoughts that come into your head, the doubts or lies you tell yourself. Sitting in negativity isn’t good for your mental wellbeing. Making it a habit of saying no to those thoughts is so important. Often if I am having a bad day and I continue to tell myself things like: ‘today sucks’, ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I’m too tired’, the more I will sink into the bad day and struggle to pull myself out of it. I won’t allow my brain to see any redeeming parts of the day, I just continue walking under my own rain cloud. Pulling yourself out of that frame of mind is what mindfulness is all about for me. Being intentional with your thoughts is all about controlling your mind.

Actively and intentionally choosing to love yourself, love your body, speak kindly to yourself, self-invest and just overall respecting yourself and what you as a person have to offer is key to a better quality of life. Self-hating and self-deprecation feel easier sometimes than self-love. It feels easier to see the negative parts of ourselves and often we give more energy to those parts of ourselves instead of all the great parts. Practicing mindfulness means that I have given myself time to appreciate myself and to mentally check in. A lot of the times if we aren’t mentally checking in we aren’t controlling our thoughts, they are just running free, because it feels habitual to dwell we don’t realise we are just constantly hating on ourselves. This kind of mindset leads to depression and anxiety and the more we stay inside of it the more we struggle to get back out again. We should instead be intentional with our thoughts, actively focusing on positives rather than letting ourselves sit in the negatives. I know that this is sooo easy to say, and hearing it when you are going through it is the literal most annoying thing ever, but once you are out of it, it ends up making so much sense. Of course speaking to yourself with love and respect will overall make you a stronger and healthier person. You just have to get to that point where you are willing to try it, it takes strength and commitment. But you owe it to yourself to at least try to speak to yourself with compassion.

So please, especially in times like these, speak to yourself with respect and love. Be aware of your thoughts and focus energy onto the ones that allow you to grow and feel good. Take time to yourself to reflect and feel gratitude. Most importantly, don’t doubt yourself, remind yourself of your worth everyday!

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